day before T day

Well I made it through the Tuesday before Thanksgiving once again and found it easier.For those reading I lost my Mom 1992 the Tuesday before Tday. For the first few years it was really tough as Mom And I had been close.She was the central figure of my life and Dad was the other half. Still as Dad was a travelling salesman , Mom I faced frozen pipes, unwanted lambs, hectic shopping and a myraid other minor troubles together. Faced a few big ones too, Dad's death, my divorce to mention two. She talked to me everyday, fed me on weekends, cooked for me when I taught in Nebraska, babysat the kids, joked with me and reprimanded when I needed it. Sometimes I will see something she would enjoy, and I actually find myself reaching for the phone.

Thanksgiving is my holiday alone. Girls are too far for the few days we have off and often travel weather is not good. I miss family at this time but am content with way things are. Essentially it does not bother me to be alone, and I bet many only children would say that. We learn early to entertain ourselves. Being alone does not equate lonliness. Though I admit when they call it is as Martha S. says it is a good thing.

Christmas is different. We usually manage to get the Neb-Kan contingent together. The vacation time is longer so weather can be coped with. This year I may have done it in as I am scheduled to spend New Year's in Belize. Just could not turn down a free trip to a new place.

I cannot count how many times I think of family in a day.Sara is the ultimate mommy and her house is open and loving. The Other girls run thier houses as family and friends havens too but they have less family. Dana has done well in her career and he truck driver husband makes life intereting trying to remember just where he is. She like my Mom has to face things when he is on the road. beckyand family are more urban than the rest of us and she is busy with jopb ,family and school. I am proud of them all and of thier offspring. I am interested in their comings and goings but try not to meddle. they have their lives to live andcan include me inwhat they wish to share. They are strong,independent women,and I like to think I had sommething to do with that.

So when I am gone, I hope that they will also reach for the phone or Facebook to share something they think I will enjoy. That is the best type of memorial.