The breeze is cool but heat will develop as it is June in Kansas. The pups are snoring. I am some what planing my attack on a list to do that is bigger than I like it to be. Summer's lazy pace allows me to get behind. I am one of those that likes a routine and summer lacks it. So beginning today I hope to semi-impose one. Have to work in some exercise and other things.

Today I have to check on some things, get meds, grade papers,write letters etc.I hope to get it all done. On top of that i am going to start checking blood sugars three times a day before meals.My goal to keep it between 70 and 140 before meals.Also this should help me keep losing weight.However I am also determined to not beat myself up if the goals are not met when I test or weigh. Human that I am lapses will happen.

Sometimes I see students set unrealistic goals. To be a pro- athlete when they were a second stringer in school or even a non-participant for example , not realistic in the least. Others plan great careers but lack the follow through or work ethic to make it though the brains are there. Goals are a great incentive but they need to be realistic and possible. Failure hurts but it devastating when they were beyond reach to begin with. Parents and teachers need to guide students to realistic goals and teach them how to set them later in life.

My goals are to lose 10 pounds then set another goal; not i want to lose 50 in five weeks.I want to keep on grading not I want it all done NOW! I will do some exercise. tai chi is my choice. I do not plan to be Chuck Norris or Christie Brinkely every day but I intend to increase my amount of movement. Think those are possible?

Wish me luck readers and now it is time to get on with today's chores.

Today was wig washing day literally. I gave up on my baby fine , dishwater brown thin hair a bit over a year ago and now I wear a wig or should I say wigs. I can go from medium to short shag cut in minutes. I do not have to mess with mousse, gel etc. but every so often I have to wash the wigs and this is not a bad task but it is necessary. So today was the day.
It was a figuratively wig washing day also. I chose not to do anything of import( except I paid my car payment) and to let the day just flow. Teaching four nights a week at HCC fills my week and somehow rushing around doing errands did not turn my crank. It has been relaxing. I am actually looking forward to going to a knitting party tonight---needles,snacks, wine and conversation. One small problem I have to find the house and it is out near Pretty Prairie so I hope map quest gave me the right directions.
Yesterday was a good day. Once again cleared on the breast bump. this is second time I have gone through the mammogram, sonogram, surgeon thing. in O8 he did a biopsy but it too was negative. Yesterday he said it was not needed and to see him in six months but he is confident there will be no change. Always antsy about these things but better safe than sorry. Sometimes it would be nice to have someone along but I also find going alone okay---especially when the results are positive( or rather negative depending on your viewpoint.
Right now the toughest thing I need to do is decide what type of snacky foods I want to take. So I am off to the shower and the market. Life is good.

Humans always think they have more time. I will travel, I will write, I will spend more time after. After what? We know we have an expiration date but we avoid thinking about it. The act of ignoring it deprives us of many goals and relationships. How many times have you heard the words , I wish had said I love you more or I had gone to ?.

In 1986 my desire to see England and Paris overcame my reluctance . So off I went with two of my three girls and six students. I may have regretted that my now ex- husband would not leave the states, but I have never regretted the decision. Since that date I have led student tours and travelled on my own and each one has enriched me. The trips have opened new understandings of ancient history, of different cultures and the richness of life itself.

Writing has always been part of me but family and work kept me from it. Then one day the dam broke and I have been at it ever since. Some of my work has been in regional publications and other writings have been in the three newspapers that I have worked for in three states. Now I blog semi-regularly about whatever strikes my fire on that day. Fame is not my goal but the use of words to flow smoothly and to avoid clichéd phrasing constantly urges me on.

Relationships are oddities. This past week ,while in London, I spent a day with a pal of forty years. We talked from moment one with no hesitation. True friendship is like that. With others conversations are more guarded; everyone knows those. Age does not determine the strength of these contacts. It is a matter of time and the willingness to stop other things to write the letter, make the call, to just be and be there.

My marriage has been over longer than it was. I do not regret the end, but I regret the sense of family it destroyed. Still it gave me three wonderful daughters and grandchildren. Oops cannot leave out the greats either. He is a good man and he was a good man. Still I am stronger and content within myself since the end. I forgave him and myself and so no longer spend time in bitter memories and whys.

As an only child, my parents knew my love. Yes, like all teens there were angry times but I knew their love and I truly feel they knew mine. I was in the room when each one passed and the word rend became acutely real. But I am content that they knew before they left me that I would miss them and I find I still do at times.
So what am I saying? I live in the present, reflect only on past joys, and do not long for what might be. I let go and let God trite as that sounds. It works for me.