Wednesday, July 30, 2014

hallie home maker has taken over

While eating lunch I got asked why I was playing earth mother. they referring to yesterday's jam making. Maybe it was the cool weather or maybe it was the cook book LITTLE JARS; BIG FLAVORS. Never mind , it was still cool today. The result was pickled carrots, strawberry basil jam and black plum( well, I was short on plums so I threw in blueberries) jam made with cardamon. The house is redolent with the herby smell. Oh by the way I set a recipe of dana's no knead bread to rise in the am and it is made with white flour the recipe calls for. so my inner homemaker ( let's call her Hallie) has overtaken my life. Have a peach bourbon jam I want to try and a plum port one also. May be a day or so before i can get Hallie to recede and let Mary the storyteller out again. Hope the weather holds.

Becca's wedding dress arrived. It looks beautiful. Thinking the internet is the way to go on these things. Cheaper by far than David's and so dang pretty and she says it fits well. I am glad for her. October 11th will come soon.

Dana is officially on vacation and is coming down here for part of it. Will have to spend tomorrow cleaning. Mybe i better keep Hallie around a bit.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

cool weather jam


Today's cool weather kicked my suzy homemaker gene into gear. Results a loaf of Dana Stabenow's no knead bread and blueberry strawberry jam. Actually it was to be raspberry-blackberry but I used what I had on hand. Tastes scrumptious and all 7 jelly jars sealed. The bread was made with whole wheat flour not white but it is flavorable with the crisp crust and good texture inside. Tomorrow coolness is predicted yet again so strawberry basil is on the docket, as well as air freshener with a vodka and essential oil base and a black plum coriander jam. Thursday will be house cleaning. There is also a pickled carrot recipe to try and a bourbon peace jam.

So of course, not much writing happened. That is the evening activity. I have promised myself that I will do at least a page per day. Well, I did write up the material for the iron horse sculpture and sent it off to John for approval. Guess I did write after all -- just not on the memoir. Oh well, it was my decision, and I am living with it.

This morning I enjoyed a chat with Miss Juanita at Brewed Awakening. She is a rather new person in my circle and I truly enjoy talking to her. Topics range from books, baking, children to faith. Today we hit all of these. What a joy to share with her,and she is the very embodiment of a gentlewoman. I wish I could be so ladylike. I feel rough edged around her but am so glad she tolerates it.

Dana and KK are coming this weekend for a week. We were going to Colorado to visit CECE but CECE is in Nebraska as she needs to be close to her doctor with this pregnancy. Then we considered a trip to the Grand Canyon but time and money rather nixed that for this year considering we are all saving for Europe in 2015. Then a one day run at Branson came up but we are staying here---Cosmosphere, Stratca, junking ( shopping in odd stores) won out. If they make it in time , there is a house concert Sunday at 3. I enjoy these visits. They break up my routine.

Dogs are shutting down already. They are definitely not nocturnal hunters--- sin begins to go down and they find some place to lay. Zoe goes to the couch or her box, Winston is near mess he can protest my petting one of the others. and Boba will lay so he can make eye contact if he is in the same room. As it gets darker they begin to snore, they are kenneled by dusk and Winston wants his big pillow bed in my bedroom. He goes in and comes out to look for me until I give in and go in to read. They regulate my life.

Time to write on the memoir. Until tomorrow.


Air Freshener
8 oz each lavendar and bergamot essential oil
1/2 cup each water and vodka
put in mister bottle and use.


bread recipe on Dana Stabenow's website


Monday, July 28, 2014

wondering and writing

Today has been a writing day. Yep, i have been on the key board working. First project, a write up of Iron Horse John Lopez's first hybrid for the coffee table book we are doing. John is letting me see how his mind works whether he is aware of it or not. What a chance to share a creation with an ex- student whose sculptures are in various parts of our nation. Each small write up for the accompanying sculpture picture is a moment of achievement. Really like the fact that I can do this with some ease, Oh I have to mull over various aspects of the material, but the sculpture is the starting point plus John's input. I write it , edit it and rewrite an email it to him for approval.

The memoir is another matter. First there are stories to sketch out, people to describe, conversations to recall and so on. After messing with this off and on, a retreat at Linda Hasselstrom's Windbreak House brought it more into focus. So now I have a format--- before there was me, childhood stories, adult moments are working titles for the sections. what has come to light is that Dad's family was unusually close mouthed and once something was lived it was over with no need to talk about it. Is this the depression era mentality as my ex- husband's family was very similar? Very few table tales form either group. Now my mother's was almost too open; so stories abound. Dad's before me is basically done, On to Mom's stories. This book is good for me and may only be read by family but that will be enough.

Memoir's are tricky. The truth as I recall an event may not be how someone else recalls it. This was evident when i sat listening to stories at my Aunt Anna Mae's table. The story reported the basic facts, the viewpoint of the story teller change the details, the tone and sometimes even the ending. So for those who read these stories, remember they are from my viewpoint as I saw them or heard them. Read them with this in mind and enjoy.

Of course, I am writing this blog. I really do not know my readers but audience members have been from Germany, Poland, France and China as well as the good ole USA. At times it is a rant on the world, sometimes it is an attitude count your blessing adjustment but more often it it just musings like today. Over 5000 views on the 180 posts amazes me.Thank you for reading and feel free to comment on it. I can read French and Spanish and guess at German.

Next up on word is Herb Lore a fiction piece I have been working on for several years on a come and go basis. Now I have decided to really spend some time on each day and may be actually finish it. Also thinking about a book featuring my three fur footed live ins. so yes writing occupies me.







Sunday, July 27, 2014

sunday

Woke up at 5 to rain and dogs who needed to potty The sky theater was going full blast with lightening but not too many thunder boomers. So Yes, I went back to bed because I had gone to mass last night but could not go to sleep. Karma, I guess.
Sundays are lazy days for me when I do not plan much or if I do plan it is a day of small indulgences. This Sunday is one of those small "gifts to me today" day. Some shoe shopping and a movie,and some online school clothes shopping as there are few stores in town with clothing for me and I do not like to drive to shop when I do not have an exact needs list. Also writing, there is always writing and finishing up the grading of my summer class. Did I say lazy?

One project I am really enjoying is working on a book with an ex- student. John has grown up into a real art career and he has sculptures in several states. He started in bronze but now does hybrid sculpture using discarded iron parts and other metal objects.It will be a coffee table book of his work with descriptions of his works and how or why he did them.

The memoir is going forward but somewhat slowly as I sift through the tales heard around the tables as I grew up and the ones I lived myself. Interesting but at times overwhelming. Still it is going to get done. This is a legacy I want for my family because these stories reveal the people who made the family. No real scandals but some really funny stories and some real quirky characters.

Also have a couple of fiction in pieces that I am working on. They are fun and because outlines keep me from actually writing ,their development can be surprising. I admire those who do the outline and then move forward but if I do that the story never develops as I am engrossed in the task of outlying and re-outling. work habits are really personal things.

When school takes up I will begin house clear out room by room and try to get things done so I can make plans on whether or not to list my House. Probably won't but the clear out will be good anyway. this means re-organizing my yarn stash, books clothes and the oddments that one collects by living. Now to enjoy Sunday.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

for my students



This picture has a lot of me in it--- a dog and a teacher's desk. Both are lifelong loves of mine. I have always been a teacher. Even as a child it was my favorite game and it is and has been my profession for countless years. I have taught while I raised a family, helped run a pizza place and written for three local newspapers. But teaching has always been number 1 after my girls. It is how I define myself and I like to think those years behind the desk have mattered.

Recently, I have been leading some memoir workshops. That is really a pleasant teaching moment as I watch others begin to share their story. Also at the present a memoir is my work in progress. Digging up the stories of my family and putting them down for my girls and their families to share. Not easy to organize or to write at times but rewarding in the end. Also I am about to begin work with John Lopez on putting together a coffee table book featuring his sculptures and the stories behind them. What an honor to have an ex-student ask me to share in this production.It is such a reward for being behind the desk, and he may never realize how much it means to me.

When I joined Facebook, I thought of it as a way to contact family. It is less family than I hoped ( Most of my family is not computer savvy ,I guess), but within hours ex- students began to contact me. My friend list is full of them.Some I expected as we had connected in the classroom ,but some of the others are ones I thought I had just taught. Now I share their family photos. funny posts and a bit of their lives as they share mine. Little did I realize they would remember me and remember me well enough to be willing to keep in touch this way.

So as I contemplate this year and maybe one more year before I venture into new territory of semi retirement( will still teach at college and do other things.), my heart is full of the fact that I have touched lives in a positive way. It makes all the late nights of planning, grading, catchup reading, all the debate trips, all the play practices, all the cheerleading wrestling trips, the stupid questions, and yes. even the smart a*** answers that make teaching a time sucking career worth the effort. Thank you John, Joanie, Shane, Brain, Abby , Bastian. Caytlin, Kylee, Abby,Amber, Chelle,Dakota and all the others as well as ones I will be teaching this year It has been worth it.

Monday, July 21, 2014

After a week of 70's and 80's,today's 103 is rough. Add in the humidity and there is no need to explain why I have not been out since around noon today. Winston goes to and comes in panting. Short-nosed dogs do not do well in the heat and for that matter black long haired chihuahuas do not do well either. Boba goes out, does his business and begs to come in. Winston being a bullish bulldog sometimes refuses to come in at first but is soon ready. Zoe seems to fare the best or has the most common sense. In the morning she goes out, chases a few bunnies, barks at the neighbors' dogs and comes in. In the afternoon she actually lays on the deck as if sunbathing- sometimes with her tummy up.

Dogs can teach you about life. Sometimes you need to do just what has to be done, Boba style. Other times you have to dig in your heels when faced with a decision until you can make up your mind, Winston style.May be the best way is to pace yourself run when running is good and relax when there is time, Zoe style. Good rules if they are pondered correctly.

Life is unpredictable and we can control only parts of it. When things look perfect, something or somebody throws in a wrench. At other times the decision we made turn outs exactly opposite of what we thought,and this result can be better or worse . Whatever it is, it affects our lives and our relationships until something else arrives to change things.
So we can use the appropriate dog rule from above to choose our reaction to the result. There also is always the over all dog rule if you can not eat it or bury it, pee on it and walk away.

Actually that las one has a lot of truth even if the final action is not a possibility in human terms. Look at life and decisions as something that have to be done. Do it and live it, and then refuse to fret over it . Not easy but it gets easier the more you do it. You can only do so much and worry can not change things. So do what you can, relax and then move on. Things will work out . the old adage that yesterday is over and tomorrow is yet to be holds true. that leaves only today and most of us can do one day at a time pretty dang well. And that is the philosophy for today.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

It is an oddly cool day for July today and the weather gurus are saying we will have several days of this. My physical body is happy about it as heat is not my ally, but my spiritual side is in a real uplift pattern. Coolness blesses me in many ways. Now this does not mean housework will be polished off in record time. That is not me but it does mean what gets done will be done with a happy soul. lol

Funny fact, I look at most informercials and say inwardly oh sure it does. Well, I saw one in action at the new Brewed Awakening yesterday and you know what it actually does work and works well. It is the mop with the spinner. I am ready to get one for my wood floors and since the swifter floor jet leaves streaks this will be better. I also have a shark steamer but do not want to steam the wood often. So from now on my inner skeptic will still function but perhaps with a bit less oh yeah attitude.

Tonight is the next to last night of the summer hybrid course I am teaching. It is much better organized than the one used last fall( same course same material) but still needs some adjustment. I hope the students are getting what they need. I am trying my best to do that as well work within the course. so I hope the surveys reflect that.


Plans for the rest of the summer are to write on my memoir and some fiction. Also include a visit from middle daughter and her child in August. I am looking forward to seeing them. They make the effort every so often, and I love it. The road runs both ways, and I go up and stay there so I can visit them and girl number one. Now girl number three and I have to work at being together. I really miss not being as close as I wish with her daughters. Distance is difficult for me but she has a happy life and that is all a mother really wants. All my girls make me proud as each has their own greatness and I am always ready to brag about them and theirs. Parental blinders,we all have them.

Not much else today-- no philosophical thoughts no great events so I will shut down for now and maybe come on later.









Monday, July 14, 2014

Nearly a week and I have not written a word here. It has been an interesting week--- housework done, memoir class done,just a bunch of things. So here I am again. I have decided to try to organize myself for the rest of the summer and that is not easy. I tend to do better when I have "must dos" not just "should dos". Lately I have been trying to support a pal whose life has been a constant rush of musts as she changes her business location. Her head has been spinning and sleep has been lacking as she keeps her present location open and renovates the second one. The end is near and while I can not lift the heavy boxes etc, I will do what I can.Anyone who dares to go for a dream deserves support.

Another pal's husband was gone for 10 days (home now!) Her schedule is busy busy busy with two active kids, and when he is gone ,I am sure she is busier. Yet, there is time for me-- Facebook messaging, potato delivery and deck repair.We teach in the same system and many rooms separate us so how we became close is a wonder. But the wonder is how much her smile and caring has come to mean to me. I hope she feels the same way.

Facebook messaging does funny things. I have two students studying for the priesthood--one in Argentina; one in the USA. But it is odd that one fb pal is a priest who used to my parish priest. When he was here, I enjoyed his homilies which were down to earth and easy to take a lesson from to our daily life. Now I often just message a hello, a question, and an observation and I do not know if he finds me a pest but I take comfort in his answers. He may never know that but his willingness to talk blesses my life.

Relationships enrich our lives. They make us feel comfortable and anchored in our lives. It can be painful when one ends no matter whose fault it is. Recently this has happened to me as I discovered new aspects of a person with whom I was comfortable for several years. Over the past year the personality once so sunny and open has become closed moody and hard to be with. Several pals have noticed this and commented on it. We can not reach the person to help her and the one who should help is part of the problem. The lost hurts but to keep trying is not good for me. I will be there if and when she needs me but can not be there now. Have you been there?

Coffee is done and time to get chores done. more later friends,

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

windbreak blog

Ok this is a bit of a cheat but here goes and it is not complete. more later.

As I arrive at Windbreak, Linda greets me. No awkwardness reared its ugly head and it was refreshing to realize I know this woman. We met years ago during retreats for teen writing, re-met in Austin this spring and now I am here eager to let her writing wisdom help me become better. It is no easy thing to lay yourself and your work before someone else’s eyes but they do not wear creator’s blinders so the things found can only help.

The silence here is amazing--- no sirens, no police whooping, no children screaming while playing in the summer streets and o music blasting from passing cars or neighborhood porches. I welcome it and I wonder, can I work in it.
There is a storm coming and the alert radio keeps reminding me. I tend not to worry about storms but perhaps I should. The alert seems to say we might be on the edge of the real event.

Supper and discussing life and work. Good conversation can make a person comfortable. I have written six pages, not sure how good they are but they are done. I must remember what is rough can be polished.

The storm is here. Heavy rain, thunder, lightening and thunder play in the prairie sky It is not a dangerous storm—no hail, no tornados. Rather it is a reminder of nature’s might and our inability to change it. So I listen to the rain and love it.

6/28/14
I awoke this morning just as light began to fill the sky. Breakfast is over and I begin my first assignment. Linda will be here at ten. Now I am the student once again. Life has a way of keeping one alert by changing one’s position in the cosmos.

It is now three (MDT) in the afternoon and Linda is gone until the morning. I am left with her comments and ashamed that I have not caught homophonic errors and typos in what she has had to read. Some but probably not most have auto corrections that I did not see. Shall have to be better at that while I am here and going forward. Her comments are right on and she left with the one on my father she prompted at our morning meeting. I need to do one on my mother, which I am finding difficult. Why is this I wonder? When I do get it done perhaps part of that why will be answered.

At any rate coffee beside my plate, I am pondering what to do. Re-work something using her comments or write something new such as the mother sketch, it is my choice. I have time to d both. Where to start? I think I will just drink my coffee and ponder that point for a while. Beside the laptop needs recharging. Any excuse, right?

Laptop is at 97% enough for tonight. It is 5:09 MDT and the sky has darkened. Thunder breaks the silence, and for the second time today rain is on the way. Linda’s event tonight was to be outside. Their plans must change. My writing awaits--- Mom or a re-working. Still undecided but I will try Mom as my supper eggs boil and the thunder rolls outside.





catch up

No excuses. I just haven't been here. A trip to WINDBREAK HOUSE to work on a project with Linda Hasselstrom, teaching the college classes, and one other project that needs working on. I all be back tomorrow or thursday.