The breeze is cool but heat will develop as it is June in Kansas. The pups are snoring. I am some what planing my attack on a list to do that is bigger than I like it to be. Summer's lazy pace allows me to get behind. I am one of those that likes a routine and summer lacks it. So beginning today I hope to semi-impose one. Have to work in some exercise and other things.

Today I have to check on some things, get meds, grade papers,write letters etc.I hope to get it all done. On top of that i am going to start checking blood sugars three times a day before meals.My goal to keep it between 70 and 140 before meals.Also this should help me keep losing weight.However I am also determined to not beat myself up if the goals are not met when I test or weigh. Human that I am lapses will happen.

Sometimes I see students set unrealistic goals. To be a pro- athlete when they were a second stringer in school or even a non-participant for example , not realistic in the least. Others plan great careers but lack the follow through or work ethic to make it though the brains are there. Goals are a great incentive but they need to be realistic and possible. Failure hurts but it devastating when they were beyond reach to begin with. Parents and teachers need to guide students to realistic goals and teach them how to set them later in life.

My goals are to lose 10 pounds then set another goal; not i want to lose 50 in five weeks.I want to keep on grading not I want it all done NOW! I will do some exercise. tai chi is my choice. I do not plan to be Chuck Norris or Christie Brinkely every day but I intend to increase my amount of movement. Think those are possible?

Wish me luck readers and now it is time to get on with today's chores.

Today was wig washing day literally. I gave up on my baby fine , dishwater brown thin hair a bit over a year ago and now I wear a wig or should I say wigs. I can go from medium to short shag cut in minutes. I do not have to mess with mousse, gel etc. but every so often I have to wash the wigs and this is not a bad task but it is necessary. So today was the day.
It was a figuratively wig washing day also. I chose not to do anything of import( except I paid my car payment) and to let the day just flow. Teaching four nights a week at HCC fills my week and somehow rushing around doing errands did not turn my crank. It has been relaxing. I am actually looking forward to going to a knitting party tonight---needles,snacks, wine and conversation. One small problem I have to find the house and it is out near Pretty Prairie so I hope map quest gave me the right directions.
Yesterday was a good day. Once again cleared on the breast bump. this is second time I have gone through the mammogram, sonogram, surgeon thing. in O8 he did a biopsy but it too was negative. Yesterday he said it was not needed and to see him in six months but he is confident there will be no change. Always antsy about these things but better safe than sorry. Sometimes it would be nice to have someone along but I also find going alone okay---especially when the results are positive( or rather negative depending on your viewpoint.
Right now the toughest thing I need to do is decide what type of snacky foods I want to take. So I am off to the shower and the market. Life is good.

Humans always think they have more time. I will travel, I will write, I will spend more time after. After what? We know we have an expiration date but we avoid thinking about it. The act of ignoring it deprives us of many goals and relationships. How many times have you heard the words , I wish had said I love you more or I had gone to ?.

In 1986 my desire to see England and Paris overcame my reluctance . So off I went with two of my three girls and six students. I may have regretted that my now ex- husband would not leave the states, but I have never regretted the decision. Since that date I have led student tours and travelled on my own and each one has enriched me. The trips have opened new understandings of ancient history, of different cultures and the richness of life itself.

Writing has always been part of me but family and work kept me from it. Then one day the dam broke and I have been at it ever since. Some of my work has been in regional publications and other writings have been in the three newspapers that I have worked for in three states. Now I blog semi-regularly about whatever strikes my fire on that day. Fame is not my goal but the use of words to flow smoothly and to avoid clichéd phrasing constantly urges me on.

Relationships are oddities. This past week ,while in London, I spent a day with a pal of forty years. We talked from moment one with no hesitation. True friendship is like that. With others conversations are more guarded; everyone knows those. Age does not determine the strength of these contacts. It is a matter of time and the willingness to stop other things to write the letter, make the call, to just be and be there.

My marriage has been over longer than it was. I do not regret the end, but I regret the sense of family it destroyed. Still it gave me three wonderful daughters and grandchildren. Oops cannot leave out the greats either. He is a good man and he was a good man. Still I am stronger and content within myself since the end. I forgave him and myself and so no longer spend time in bitter memories and whys.

As an only child, my parents knew my love. Yes, like all teens there were angry times but I knew their love and I truly feel they knew mine. I was in the room when each one passed and the word rend became acutely real. But I am content that they knew before they left me that I would miss them and I find I still do at times.
So what am I saying? I live in the present, reflect only on past joys, and do not long for what might be. I let go and let God trite as that sounds. It works for me.

School is over for the year. High school to be exact, I am teaching summer class for hcc. Next year will be different as Wes, Marilyn and Holly are gone.( names are alphabetical by surname). Familiar faces gone, changes in places, and life will go on.If othing else has been learned, it is that change is part of life. Change is not easy but it is often a needed thing if the need is not seen as at the time.

So here am thinking of changes from daughter to adult to wife and mother to single person hood once again.Each one changed me,molded me, and the result is my present day me. This me sees some changes in the future ,only some of them are expected. I will adapt as I have in the past.

There are constants in my life. Love of people is one. People enrich my life even when they frustrate me. The people in my life are precious and I hope they know I support them even when their choices scare me. Motherhood taught extreme love but it also nothing grows to full maturity if smothered. My students are part of my life and some became and still are dear to me. My love of reading is a constant also. Ever since I first saw the written word and learned to read the world of books has been part of my life. Turning pages has flown me to ancient worlds,far futures, distant places and into the minds of other people. Great adventures can be had in an armchair.

Travel is also a constant and I have been blessed to be free to do so. Monday I am off to Europe and hoping I can keep up with my young co travelers. but I will enjoy it no matter what.
OOps have to run; things to do

Clean windows have made a difference in the light level of the house. It reminds me of why I bought the house in the first place--- the number and size of windows. My spirit and my body crave light and so I am not content when hard water accumulation dulls the light. No, it was not cheap but the job was well done. I have already told him to come back in August,but this time he will only have to deal with months not several years of deposit.

My other windows need a touch up too----those in my soul. Cobwebs need to be swept away and stains removed. A spring cleaning of my hope,disappointments goals and such is due. Many of them need to be discarded. Keeping them will result in bitterness and that is not a needful thing to keep clouding my soul's windows view of my world. So I forgive those who I am harboring bad thoughts about. No need to name them and no need to tell them. Just doing it will benefit me.Hopes and goals need to re-examined also. Which can I actually reach and which need to be revised to a more realistic level? Now that college classes are gone for a month I do the adjustment and then life will be brighter until time to renew my spirit once again --- the cycle of life.

Mother's day is here and all the girls have texted me love. The modern age. I can recall trying to get the perfect card for my Mom and grandmothers.My girls used to call me and now they text me and I do the same to them. We are"down with" with the new tech world. Love is shown in many ways and texting works for me . But cards are nice too.lol

Soft rains and cool breezes- a nice way to begin a weekend. walked dogs at 3 am in a soft drizzle which in England is called a mizzle. They are fed and back in kennels. Soft snores are beginning. Winston has touched all his toys, been growled at by the chihuahuas who have been hugged.Now it is coffee, breakfast and time for me. It makes for a busy morning but it is a great way to wake up.

Summer is coming. College classes are done until June 4th, and high school is done for kids the 24th. Free time to read. to wrote and to knit. Think the knitting will be for Christmas in part and some for me. Reading is definitely for me and the writing is fast becoming a necessary element of my life. Am I ready for this routine full time? Not sure that I AM AS PLANS FOR FRENCH CLASSES NEXT YEAR are sneaking in every now and then. I have worked most of my life and not working scares more than the missing paycheck. ON the other hand I see the end is closer than it was a year or two ago. I am okay with that.

Source: everydayminimalist.com via Cecelia on Pinterest

just saying I better read this soon. may make the coming trip easier. more later.