A monkey flyer and Starbucks coffee---my secret Santa rocks. I have mine covered and am debating whether to give my secret Santa a scarf I am making for the heck of it. It is more craft than knitting thought it uses knitting's bind off methods. The thing is is it way longer than I think necessary.If I were to do another which I doubt I would make two scarves from the skein not one.
Next week is an intense one for students. Two days of class and one and a half of semester tests. MY upper division French classes are doing a 200 point presentation rather than a written exam and French one is doing a 100 point presentation plus a verb form exam. The difference between the two lies in time and amount of French required in the presentation. I actually enjoy these as It is fun to see them use technology to present the material and word heavy power points are discouraged. Also 90% of the time I learn something new. Also they are easy to grade and my grades can be done before I leave for Belize.
Have not traveled internationally for a couple of years, Belize will be a good break. Have never been there or to that section of Latin America so it will be new. besides beaches in winter can not be a bad thing. Also it will prime me for the student trip in May to England,Ireland Wales and Paris. This will be retracing areas I have visited many times before and that is enjoyable also.Again I will see new things among the remembered sites. It is not deja vu but what is a word to describe that-- nouvelle nostalgia maybe.
Travel has given me so much----airport delays, reversed trip plans, sore feet and crooks in the neck to name a view. Seriously it has opened my eyes to new ways of seeing the world and new ways to live life that has helped me understand that there is no one right way to be. I believe it has helped me discover that there is a richness to be found in every place, race or individual person if one does not prejudge the place or the person. This ability to look for the good or talent in everyone is a necessity for a teacher though at times disappointment is in the offering, taking the chance for the most part pays off. Sometimes you never know if you touched the life and at other times you find out you did at the most unexpected times and ways.

Lately on Facebook I have seen posts with mention of miscarriages and the dates they happened as far back as 1998 and I wonder why? I miscarried my only boy between Dana and Becky. I can not recall the date only that mulberries were ripe. That and the hospital label of spontaneous abortion. I mourned the lost but not as I would have had it been still born or lost after several years of being a living part of me. I do not down these women most of whom have living children but wonder how they can mourn what God felt he needed to call back because it could not fully have his gift of life. Reading these posts puzzles me and I wonder am I less of a mother because I do not or rather did not do so.
I am a reality type person, and I live in that reality. I do not miss things that have gone from my life( people yes. often want to share some joke with mom or see a movie with dad) Content with each day I live I do not fret and worry much about past or future. I enjoy what I have through his Grace. I delight in the things He allows me to enjoy--- a sunset, my dogs snoring, my grandchildren on Facebook, time with friends and students, a quiet night, a good joke. Small moments of joy and oceans of contentment define me. there is no diva in De Vries.
Christmas causes me to reflect. It is the end of another year. Can I wish things different? Maybe but will that make it so? NO. I can plan to repair what I can but then I must let go and let God. The future same operational mode. Do I wish my kids were closer? Yes. Can I make it happen? NO. so I enjoy whatever time I have with them in whatever manner of communication we share. AM I less of a mother or grandmother because of that? I hope not but it is really their decision not mine and I can not make it for them.So once again I am content and life moves on. St.Francis of Asissi's prayer says it all. Accept what I can not change

Can not think of a title for this one; so my miniscule group of readers can make up their own. Last night ended another semester of adjunct teaching on the college level. Every semester presents some new challenges and this one held one I feel proud to have met. It also had a blessing as most of them do, but this year's creative writing class was a bonus. It was hard to see it end.

Listening to an odd mix of Christmas songs, jazz, rock, parody ( Fruitcake>Funny) and reverent, after all it is my favorite season of the entire year. It is not about the gifts I will give or the ones I will get. For me the season is the sense of sharing our care, when we allow ourselves to see some one else's need and being able to help them.

Yesterday was so relaxing. Learned how to do a lacy scarf in just minutes and then went to see Hugo with Holly and her girls. If you know anything about early films, you will find its usage of actual footage fascinating but for many it will move slowly. There are a few chases but no explosives.It is the story of the human spirit, the need for connection and the renewal of the spirit. Shot in tones of brown and other earth colors the settings reflect the serious tone of the story. The flower stand and the uniform of the policeman are the deepest colors and they are the love story. Symbolism?

There are two films at Christmas I wish to see---Tin Tin due to its French conections and We bought the zoo just because it looks to be interestingly family centered. Each of these offer more to me than the current vampire love films and these are done with expert hands. Though admittedly the Twilight series has improved. I still think the Cruise/Pitt vampire film is one of the best in years and True Blood on HBO which is based on the Sookie Stackhouse series are also well done.

Today ??????????? Plans are to do some cleaning house and car, a grocery and library run. This week will be more of the same as I am free every afternoon after 2 until classes begin in January at HCC. Life is basically good and fulfilling.

There is something about the moose that calls to me. Lumbering and not exactly handsome they make me speculate. They sally forth into their world confident they will survive though they are assembled from what looks like the spare parts out of God's creation box. Standing in water up to their dewlap or striding through the pines they make their presence known. Yes they are big and capable of harming anything smaller but they do not present an angry exterior. Instead they reek of acceptance of their lot and content with what comes to them.

I am much like a moose. I am assembled from spare parts ( the brain being the best one in my opinion) and there are times I definitely lumber through the day. Confident in my mien, not always I must admit. Content in my situations ---Hmmm! again I must admit to being at times ill content. I am human you know not a moose.

But there are lessons to be learned from the moose God's after thought he may be. He looks in the water and sees his reflection and is content with what he sees. How many of us can do that. We are too heavy, too thin, too dark, too pale etc. When we go out to earn our way in the world we fight against the complexities of life. We look for excuses or place blame. Some even deny God and wade through the mire unassisted and alone. Now Moose do not know God or at least not as we do but they just get on getting on.
Sometimes we need to do that thing---shrug our shoulders, pull ourselves together and do what has to be done. Most of the time this is an effort with a capital"E"; life is not fair. Yet jumping the hoops, smiling with the wins and the losses. helping others can make life and an adventure and also fulfilling.

So the moose is my favorite animal and I hope I have learned from him and by adding creator to my life. I can like the moose lumber my spare parts forward to a meaningful life.

Sunday

A sunny Sunday after silvery misty Saturday thoughit is actually much colder today than yesterday. For me it is a slow day as I woke at three and returned back to bed around six and re-awoke at 9. So my get up and go is slower than normal. If someone came by and said let's go Mary I would but really need an outside motivater today. Any volunteers?

Actually I am accomplishing some things. Becky has me editing a presentation,and I found fleece for blanket project at the French Party and a gently used blanket to add to the pile. Also I am trying to think up essay topics for the English comp final and will soon begin the Spanish 1 final. In addition I have clean clothes to store away. So the day will not be unproductive but nothing is going to be rushed and rushed. Need to think of a movie to watch as we tie blankets and eat tomorrow night. Guess today is a mix of cerebral and physical exercise.

Need to work on that lastitem and find some form of exercise. I plan on using school treadmill and perhaps mall walking in the icy months and dillons nature center in the nicer ones. Tai chi is also an interest and want to enroll in a session of that soon. I am not a zumba dancer or boot camp exerciser.Pilates interests me but only if I have the platform. I have a treadmill at home but dogs have claimed it as a guard post. Besides once I get in my door, housework or paperwork claims my time. And of course writing has a hour or so too. No time to be lonely though I am alone. Yet due to faith I am never really alone.

little things

It is a rainy Saturday morning and I am so hoping there is not a repeat of the ice storm several years ago. But if it should come we tough Kansans will survive as we did once before and even once before that. Nature can vent its grouchy moods on us but it only proves we have the grit to come back and often to come back stronger. Now that is not a dare, Mom N.The moisture is great and welcome it after a dry season.
Last night was sterling proof that the best things in life are simple and mostly free. Old sweaters, old tee shirts,simple food and doing things together gave me tons of pleasure. Mixed ages 12 to my ancient age were laughing together and crafting. I knitted. Tee shirts became scarves and old sweaters became Christmas wreaths. More important the laughter and the feeling of accomplishment filled the room as we shared each other's spirits. From such small things much joy comes.
Most of My Christmas shopping is done. Some gifts bought,some made and some gift cards make up the mix. I may have to ship most of them but the pleasure of sharing what God has given me and of myself is much larger than the money spent and the time it takes to shop and ship.
Possessions are nice. A warm home in winter and more important to me a cool one in the heat of summer, clean clothes enough food to be healthy money enough to pay bills, books to read and something to write with, these are my basic desires. Diamonds, high fashion, fancy cars have never been on my wish list. I guess that is my parents gift to me and my hippie youth showing through.
Sunrises, sunsets, snow, sunny sands, people I feel close to, these are what fulfill me. Last night was one of those simple blessings. The Bible quotes Jesus as saying if you believe you shall not want and even in the 23rd Psalm of the older books says the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want,and I am firm in the belief that this is not only material things but the things of the spirit. It is not easy but since I have decided to let go and let God, life has been much more full and more content.

Thursday, December 1, 2011 two nights
Funny how classes can make or break a day. I woke up after a fairly sleepless night loaded with grouchy bear syndrome. My French classes at BHS drowned the bear WITH THIER LET'S DO THIS ATTITUDE AND LAUGHTER AS THEY LEARNED. My Wednesday night class for Hutch CC at Newton has been a trial due to one student's constant me me griping. But a pal said do not respond in kind as you are bigger than that. It has been a stuggle but I have done that and I am congratulating myself on a job well done, It was also consolation to find other teachers have met the same student with the same results. Tonight my creative class had their last work night and I hate to see it go. Held on three campuses via ITV it has been a delight every night I have met with it. It has been a bright spot every week. Not only are they writers they are personable, interesting people and willing workers.

Other professions have touched my life---reporter, Pizza place night manager, avon lady but teaching is where I truly beleive God wants me. I feel fulfilled when I teach and I firmly beleive the subject mmatter is important but that you teach so much more. In all my years only 2 or 3 students stand out as I wish I never had met. Funny 2 of them have been this semester---one on each level. Sometimes I wonder if I have made a difference because I can be so blunt,. Then I get text from a student saying going to Europe with me as a junior has led her to travel all her life and opened her eyes to the fact that not all people live like those in her hometown and that they are truly nice any way, another hears that Prairie winds needs funds and sends a donation. I expect 25 at most and he sends 150. Another messages on Fb that she needs an address so she can send a donation. Wow those are proof that some way some how I touched those lives. What a good feeling.

So God help to continue to be teacher that students can learn form and turn to in my last years in a profession that I love. Thank you for my desire to teach and my love of the people in the classroom. Thank you for the colleagues that bless my life with knowledge and frienships. I have had some down eras in my life but this gift of and love of my profession has give me much to be thankful for and has sustained me. It also is good at doing away with grouchy bear syndrome.