Lessons

Today classes began. My Thursday morning Comp 101 met at McPherson. Interesting fact out of ten students eight were there before class by ten minutes or so, another came in about 10 minutes after the class was to begin and one traipsed in around 1/2 hour after the nine o'clock start. As a practice the office manager called the two late comers. I do not know why but being late is a burr under the saddle to me.

Hold on that last statement is not quite true. I do know why I am always ten minutes early or more and then spend time waiting. This is not a genetic trait , but it definitely came from my parents. Without lectures or shouting I was trained to be on time if not early.No one said this is what you do, but the lesson was there. It was a "do as I do" lesson and they are much more effective than lectures. Children learn from the people around them.Preach whatever homily you want to, they are aware whether you follow the lesson yourself and they do what you do.

Being on time is one way to show respect. Again no words were necessary for this lesson. It was learned when my parents were greeted with smiles as they checked in for appointments and when ( It was often) they were allowed to go in because someone else was late or did not show. Bosses, office managers, teachers among others are on tight schedules, tardiness throws a snag into the works.Teachers have to repeat themselves, doctors and office managers have decide if they are to take who is there or make everyone wait on the late arrival and let us not go into employers who have to confront a terminally tardy employee.

I learned other lessons from my parents' actions. My dad never tried to pay a child's under 12 fee when I hit 12 though I looked younger. My parents made liberal use of thank you and please. I had to write thank you notes. I did not have to like the gift but I had to express thanks to the giver if only for the thought. I recall one such note thanking a relative for a pair of too small Dr.Denton style pajamas when I was in ninth grade. It was not easy task and I admit my mom made me write it twice until it had some semblance of true gratitude. No one was ever out down in our house due to religion, gender, or race. I found out much later Dad did have some biases, but he never said them to or about someone in public or in the privacy of home. Mom and Dad both worked and work was something a person did. They sent me to college so I would not have to live off a sales commission unless I chose to or do some backbreaking soul ripping menial work just to survive. They wanted me to work, but to work at a profession so they made sure I had one.

Their lessons were not always the same. Mom taught me to cook. to sew and to craft.She also read and encouraged me too. I remember her telling the public library"s head person that I could read Peyton Place( the Grey book of the era) though I was under twenty-one. She taught me a lady could enjoy a somewhat dirty joke, that family came first, and that life was an adventure. Dad gave me a love of travel. He took us to different states and to Mexico and Canada. He gave me the love of movies by taking me to Saturday Matinees. He too taught me life was an adventure to be lived by coming into the kitchen saying," I am going to________.Are you coming?".

My parents did not lecture or explain.When I became a teen and was pondering moral decisions such as smoking( they both smoked), they simply said it is your life, you decide. Another statement that hit home was the ne that went Remember you live with your bad decisions everyday of your life, not us. So think things through. That was only said once but when faced with a decisions the What if of both the yes and no were considered before I decided. It put the responsibility where it truly belonged with me. They would support me but they would not make excuses for me.

This is a long discussion brought on by a late student but I wonder how she learned that it was okay to be late and ask for an update of class when class was over.. I know how I learned life lessons. How did you?