no no people

Saturday was an early day. Dogs had been up and down all night and so at 5:30 I was up to stay. Now that is my usual time but on Saturday I like to try to stay in bed a bit longer. Oh well, things got done. Floors swept, garbage out, packages mailed, dishes done and the cox man replaced my outside splitter, and I went to Brewed Awakening for coffee and a brief knit on my sock. Nice moment talking to Sam, a favorite sixteen year old.

However this morning drove to me once again to face a personality trait of mine. I am not particularly proud of it, have tried to alter it but every once in awhile it creeps out of the dark area of my psyche where I have pushed it. Today it came forward. What is it?

Simply when a person gets to me to a certain point, I am done with them. Not that I am mean or rude but I am done. I avoid them or if that is not possible I am icily polite. Also I am less apt to do something for them when asked. Now that is not good but it is better than angry actions such as revenge. Once in awhile the fences I have set up have been torn down when a sincere honest apology on both parts happens.Many times this does not happen because no discussion of the rupture ever occurs and the fence becomes more or less permanent.The list of "no-no" people is small ,and this is due to my desire not to be this way, but it does it exist. While it is not an admirable trait, it does avoid continued conflict and hurt.

Sometimes when it rears its ugly head, I wonder about other people and their quirks.Do they have ones that they try to exile? I know it is hard to say that there is something about me that I do not like and that I constantly try to control. Still in my case the effort of control has helped me to fall victim to it less. Self improvement? Not sure! Yet the effort makes life better though I feel when it comes into play it is somewhat of a blessing because I do not say things I will regret or worse. Maybe age is bringing me some sense about this fault.I must admit only those who know me well can detect when the line has been crossed by someone so I must have some control even when it is in play. Enough said.