This not the best day for me. It is not the best day of the year even if it is a good day on the actual day. Twenty-three years ago today I sat in a hospital as my Mother passed to another life. I was never sure if she knew I was there having driven from South Dakota or that my youngest and her husband had made it there from Indiana. The important thing I was there to hold her hand one last time and that each of my daughters were to say good bye also. Some believe that even if not fully aware person can hear and feel touch. If this is true, she knew and that thought comforts me.
One that day I became an orphan because my father had passed years early. Never again would I feel the love apparent can give. Love that is there, present always even though the parent knows you are not perfect. No more could I seek the comfort talking out problems with her, laugh with her over old television runs of British comedies such "Are You Being Served?", or just sit quietly coffee in hand soaking in the comfort of being with her. It is such a loss especially to an only child who has no siblings to turn too. I take comfort in the fact that my girls do have siblings and I hope they know that I love them as my parents loved me.
I wil get through this day. I always do because life is what it is. However, it never comes that I do not recall Cecelia and her wicked sense of humor, her cooking, and most important her love. I still wish I could call her and say did you see that on...?. I cook her recipes and feel her presence helping me to do them correctly though to me the results are never as good as they should be. But that is as it should be. Mom I miss you and I miss Dad.
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