School is over for the year. High school to be exact, I am teaching summer class for hcc. Next year will be different as Wes, Marilyn and Holly are gone.( names are alphabetical by surname). Familiar faces gone, changes in places, and life will go on.If othing else has been learned, it is that change is part of life. Change is not easy but it is often a needed thing if the need is not seen as at the time.

So here am thinking of changes from daughter to adult to wife and mother to single person hood once again.Each one changed me,molded me, and the result is my present day me. This me sees some changes in the future ,only some of them are expected. I will adapt as I have in the past.

There are constants in my life. Love of people is one. People enrich my life even when they frustrate me. The people in my life are precious and I hope they know I support them even when their choices scare me. Motherhood taught extreme love but it also nothing grows to full maturity if smothered. My students are part of my life and some became and still are dear to me. My love of reading is a constant also. Ever since I first saw the written word and learned to read the world of books has been part of my life. Turning pages has flown me to ancient worlds,far futures, distant places and into the minds of other people. Great adventures can be had in an armchair.

Travel is also a constant and I have been blessed to be free to do so. Monday I am off to Europe and hoping I can keep up with my young co travelers. but I will enjoy it no matter what.
OOps have to run; things to do

Clean windows have made a difference in the light level of the house. It reminds me of why I bought the house in the first place--- the number and size of windows. My spirit and my body crave light and so I am not content when hard water accumulation dulls the light. No, it was not cheap but the job was well done. I have already told him to come back in August,but this time he will only have to deal with months not several years of deposit.

My other windows need a touch up too----those in my soul. Cobwebs need to be swept away and stains removed. A spring cleaning of my hope,disappointments goals and such is due. Many of them need to be discarded. Keeping them will result in bitterness and that is not a needful thing to keep clouding my soul's windows view of my world. So I forgive those who I am harboring bad thoughts about. No need to name them and no need to tell them. Just doing it will benefit me.Hopes and goals need to re-examined also. Which can I actually reach and which need to be revised to a more realistic level? Now that college classes are gone for a month I do the adjustment and then life will be brighter until time to renew my spirit once again --- the cycle of life.

Mother's day is here and all the girls have texted me love. The modern age. I can recall trying to get the perfect card for my Mom and grandmothers.My girls used to call me and now they text me and I do the same to them. We are"down with" with the new tech world. Love is shown in many ways and texting works for me . But cards are nice too.lol

Soft rains and cool breezes- a nice way to begin a weekend. walked dogs at 3 am in a soft drizzle which in England is called a mizzle. They are fed and back in kennels. Soft snores are beginning. Winston has touched all his toys, been growled at by the chihuahuas who have been hugged.Now it is coffee, breakfast and time for me. It makes for a busy morning but it is a great way to wake up.

Summer is coming. College classes are done until June 4th, and high school is done for kids the 24th. Free time to read. to wrote and to knit. Think the knitting will be for Christmas in part and some for me. Reading is definitely for me and the writing is fast becoming a necessary element of my life. Am I ready for this routine full time? Not sure that I AM AS PLANS FOR FRENCH CLASSES NEXT YEAR are sneaking in every now and then. I have worked most of my life and not working scares more than the missing paycheck. ON the other hand I see the end is closer than it was a year or two ago. I am okay with that.

Source: everydayminimalist.com via Cecelia on Pinterest

just saying I better read this soon. may make the coming trip easier. more later.

mother's day

Mom's day is next week and i have a mission. I always give the daughters a small gift as without them this holiday as no meaning. Last year it was here and gone for some reason and no gift. This year I am at least thinking about what to do. With a week to go it had best be quick. Ok, if they read this it will be no surprise but am thinking quickly knit dishcloths. These rather mundane gifts can also be face cloths, and they wear forever.

The holiday always brings my mother to the front of the memory log. She was such a powerhouse packed into five feet of woman.The seventh child of immigrant parents she knew how to survive. She could can,sew.crochet and manage money like no other. She knew how to hold a job and how to give love. I was the recipient of that love, and it was not of the sugar sweet gooey variety. Love was a short spelling of discipline. She had expectations but no lectures. If I goofed, I knew it but not once did I feel that my mistake lessened her love. Her sense of humor must have been born out of her family's adventures as she grew up.She loved life and lived it well.

Oh, she did things that bothered me. What mother doesn't. If she made up her mind,it was made up. At times we clashed and for some it made loving her hard. Still I can only hope my girls can have gifts of the spirit from me like those she left for me.

Being a mother made me understand her.From the moment they were put in my arms, I became protective of them. Yet because she knew when to let go and let me make my mistakes, I tried to do the same for them. It is not easy to do this,but we have children for the future and if they are to succeed, we cannot tie them to our past.

So on this Sunday I have one of her meals in the crock pot(green beans,potatoes and ham hock) ,and I am drinking strong coffee in her honor. As i begin the dishcloths, memories of her love and laughter will fill my mind.

Dogs are sacked out under the fan in the air cooled house. 92 degrees in May before the 10th is just crazy. Makes one wonder what summer will be like.

I would lay down but like my children in days of yore they know when I am trying to rest.Still they give me companionship and some focused goals. I find that if they need food I often check my cupboards for needs also. They need walked and even if it it just to the end of the fenced yard and back it, it is several times a day with three of them. Exercise is done though the chihuahuas walk together. Doctors say a pet lowers blood pressure and for the most part I agree but during housebreaking, it is sometimes not a lowering of the reading but an elevated one. But good and bad moments, they are my four footed family.

My two footed family is doing well.Sara's fourth graduates on the twentieth and this is a proud thing. Dana is doing work on an executive level in Nebraska for srs and KK is busy in sports and music. Becky is graduating with an AA Saturday and Andy made it home. Paige is in music and Emma is one of the best readers. I am so proud of all of them that at times I do not know how to contain it. So this is a bit of bragging and the times they irritate me are forgotten due to the pride and love I feel.

Friends give my life dimension also. Some are far,some are near, and one is moving soon. Whether they are work friends, knitting friends. ex-students or just people I have met, they enrich my life, and I hope I do the same for them.

These are blessings of my life and it is good to count them every so often.Count yours. Now the four footeds of my house need attention.

Today is May 3 and school is out May 24. 15 actual class days and 2 of those are finals in block sessions. The end is near and for some it is already here. The usual frustrations are all manifesting themselves. Students who have realized they can not pass are checked out mentally, others are getting lazy and one or two want makeup work to replace work they have not done.
All of these are hard for a teacher to deal with. Motivation can not be taught and while sometimes responsibility can be established, it is difficult.
do the assigned work to the best of your ability and any teacher who is a teacher will work with you, but make up work to replace what should have been done is a no go in my classes. Why? because extra credit and "make -up" work that is not real make-up due to absence is unfair to students who do do the work. Athletes,, debaters, ffa judges etc all miss school and most of them have the work caught up. Not doing it just to sit there does not merit the chance. Do not do the work at a job and the job will be gone, and right now school should be your job.
Okay time to climb off the broom but let me say that these habits will follow these students to the workplace and to college. No one there is going let them have breaks or keep giving a paycheck for unfinished tasks. Teaching college has really brought the habits thing to full fruition in my thinking. Students sign for a class and attend one or two classes and disappear or they come when they have nothing better to do and wonder why they are behind. Money lost. it boggles my mind to put it tritely. somewhere somehow these students and thank God it is not a majority have not been taught that you get out of a task what you put into it.

No more soap boxing. It has all been said before probably since Socrates began teaching from his stoa. but it feels good to vent. Next post will be more positive.