Balance

Balance the word has just set me off balance. Balance is the topic for the next Story Circle Journey edition and when I first saw it, my mind literally blanked. Nothing there for me, but the word began to niggle my creative juices by being constantly present in my thoughts.So here I am settling down some of the random flights of fancy that the word inspired. Balance for me is best depicted as the two scale of justice being equally full or better yet as the seat board of a teeter-totter completely level on its fulcrum Both ends in the air at an equal height. That is pretty tough to achieve if at all, and balance in life is much the same.

It seems in today's world all issues are mostly polarized. Think about it---red and blue states, pro this and anti that, atheist-conservative fundamentalist.The middle stance is not given much status and the calm they often bring to discussions is dismissed as unimportant. As passionate as I am about the things I support and believe I can be vocal when they are attacked without sound proof I get so tired hearing and watching sides expound weighted biases and no chance of middle ground being reached.

Everyday life has its share of ups and downs. Some days are definite pluses;others not so much. As I grow older, I have come to realize every down has an up. Life is not static. The teens I teach do not see the swiftness of life changes. The downs are so deep to them and the ups are in space. The emotional teeter totter of life is a rapid ride for them. Some weather it well; others not so well. The slower dips and swells in later life are much easier on the soul.

Escaping the rapid rise and fall is not easy and some of my favorite people are still hanging on trying to survive. I feel for them. Life even in the slow lane can be tough, but if the drama continues at a higher level it is definitely much rougher to endure. Hopefully they will come to the realization that they can make the changes to slow the ride.

For me that realization came in the last months of my mother's life. I was teaching in South Dakota; she was in Nebraska and not doing well. Every weekend I made the 10 hour one way drive to spend a few hours with her. The last such trip on my return I was an emotional mess. The teeter totter had dropped heavily into the low side. Not once during the visit did my mother call me by my name. I was my daughter or her sister the entire weekend. Driving home I ran in to a snowstorm that became a near whiteout and tears were flooding out of my eyes. Suddenly a brief clearing made it clear there deer in the ditch. If they wanted to jump the road , I would be dire trouble. Broken in spirit and somewhat hopeless , I gave up. "God you got me here. You have to get me home . I can not do it" to this day I do not know if it was a silent prayer or an angry shout. I made it home and since that day that personal mantra gets me through tough spots.

Now I do not mean that I just sit and do nothing. I do want I can. Ride the teeter totter until I can no longer see which way to go. When that point comes, I give in and let Him. Another thing learned recently is to forgive someone who has hurt me on purpose or by accident. I do not tell them in most cases. The forgiveness seems to rid me of the oncoming of bitterness and the blessing of peace and calmness can settle in. My teeter totter slows to a calmer ride.

Balance is something we all strive for in life. It may never be attainable just as a teeter totter seatboard can never really be level. Yet, Time has shown me that the ups and downs can be slower , calmer and easier to live with.