odd bits

Meet Winston who fills my life with joy, fun and odd moments of terror. The other day he got out the door without a lead and headed to the street. Luckily Crescent is not busy at 5:30 in the am, and also he knows my command voice. So he is safe to lay once again on his back and dream of the birds he can not catch.




Both socks are now done. Never thought I would actually finish a pair but I did . Wonder of wonders I am actually thinking of a pair or two for people on my Christmas list.
It was part of a dare and since I am, done a dear pal must finish a sweater for herself. Do I feel smug? Just a little.





Started a baby jacket for a new one due in July. It is nearly all done now. Body done. just sleeves and button band left. It is a Ravelry pattern and looks rather like an old prof's favorite cardigan. I will post the finished photo soon. At the moment I am doing a dishcloth for the once a month eat out and exchange a dish cloth group. I must say I love these eco-friendly cloths. they do not get scummy or smelly and wash Like a dream. here is one in progress. oops I changed phones and I did not update so the photo will have to wait.


This short but I have to grade things as this is the end of the year.Last full Friday today. Two more class days two final days and the hard part of the year is over. C'est fini until fall.

So it is time to jump out of the slough of despair and back into life. Life Bunyan's pilgrim I must make progress. The example set by the people of Boston and of America's population as a whole does not allow one to go down spiritually. We will pick up the pieces,support one another and move on.

Except it might not be that easy. America has always felt safe and protected from invasions and riots and mass anything. But since 9/11 we have learned differently. It has not been an easy lesson and some are bitter. Bitterness is an easy emotion as it fills a void without any reasons behind it. Going forward is tougher as we have to put fear, blame,and distrust to the bottom of our priorities and climb back up to hope and forgiveness. I am on my way. Are you?

But enough said.My last blog dealt with this stuff and the helpers than help us. A happier topic is watching the school year end. I love my profession but am glad for the respite. It is another time to rebuild and recharge the inner batteries. The students also need this change. At the moment they are so ready to leave it is hard for them to settle down and focus on the final assignments of the day. Do you remember how you were when it was near the end of your school years.?

French 1 and French 2 have video assignments due for tomorrow ( 1/2 their final grade).
One is in and the others well one is still finished and the rest are editing. Several of the students are upset that I am sticking with the due date but it is the end of the year. At college last night a student challenged me when I said her paraphrase used too many of the original words in the original order. Despite these things the results of the majority are good and and the students are great. they make life interesting and keep my eyes open and my mind also.

So from today on it is rebuild time. May and August are pretty much non working months and June/July schedule is not yet decided. time for a house clean ( volunteers) and of course writing and knitting. I Intend to add waling the tunnel and the machines in the cardiac unit. But the spiritual rebuilding will take time and perhaps more effort. Recently I have begun to lector again at Our Lady. It s an activity that causes me to focus once again the messages of faith and this in turn gives me strength.What strengthens you?

Roger's wisdom

" Look for the helpers "

Fred Rogers

This phrase has been repeated often in the past nineteen hours since Boston. It is a legacy of wise words by a man that saw children as future adults to be developed with gentle kindness. In this time it brings us comfort and it caused me to think of the helpers of our world.

First response people are hero helpers. The firemen, the emts, the doctors and nurses n the er, the police and the federal investigators rush in and do their job without thought of personal safety. In 9/11, at Sandy Hook, during hurricanes and tornadoes they deeds have inspired us with awe and with pride in their accomplishments.They deserve all the medals, praise and respect that they are given.

But there are other helpers in each of our lives that have lifted us up, supported us and shown us the way to better ourselves. Some do all three;others do the one thing we need at the time. Dorothy Thompson was helper in my teen years. Terrible in math geometry was a panic class for me. Even when I knew the answer I panicked. Miss Thompson small and dark wren like she taught the class and noticed me. I am not sure what she did but Geometry made sense and for once math was fun. I can recall they day she asked me to come in as she had made an error on my quarter grade. Trembling I went to her room after school expecting my B+ to become C+ or worse. Instead she changed it to an A- and gave me the confidence that i could do math until I hit trig in college. she pointed the way for me.

Joyce is another helper.A mother of one of my students and a town librarian, she and I became close because of a shared love of reading. when my marriage broke it was her support that allowed me to survive the turmoil of a divorce. She has been there for me during illness, disputes with children, job moves etc. She has become my sister and to this day seems to sense when I need a call or an email to say hey girl you are going to be ok. I only hope the support has been mutual.

Another helper though he might not know it was Father Ron Garry. At a time when my church was not giving my faith anything, he invited me to mass not knowing that I had attended Catholic grade school and all that that such schooling meant such as mass, stations, rosaries, and catechism. That mass was a homecoming and once again my faith was fulfilled. I have not regretted changing to my childhood teaching. As the twig is bent does hold true.

There have been many helpers in my life and there still are. The ladies at Yarn make me laugh, teach pride and humility and have become my community. Ex-Students are another community; some are nearly family. Fellow teachers support me every day.

Look at your life. Find your helpers. Thank them and if you can return the favor. Also thank Fred rogers for his insight on the need to find the helpers during times of national and personal crisis. and pay it forward.

shawled in beauty

Shawled with icy lace
The trees bend and crack
Victims of adorning beauty
Mother Nature’ double gift
Wonderment and pain in one
Crystallized in freezing rain.


Last night I learned rain had texture as I drove home form teaching my night class. Torrents if heavy woolen drops obscured my vision and made clench the steering wheel. Misty mini drops like delicate lace webbing followed the torrent and so I relaxed my clenched fists. There even patches of dry road where the rain had ceased and only the wind remained and pushed against my car with Olympian force.

The sky danced with light and rocked with thunder during the night. Rain fell forcefully and fitfully in alternating patterns. As storms are more or less my metaphor of life, I enjoyed the sky show and fell asleep lulled by the miracle of needed moisture.

Today I awoke to soft rain but with pellets sounding on roof and road. Ice was raining and trees were being wrapped in their lace shawls of the frozen moisture. The beauty was awe inspiring even though I knew it would spell death for some of those so dressed in beauty. One-quarter inch of ice will break branches to the ground and rip them from the parent plant. The cost of a moment’s glory can be a heavy toll.

Life like the iced trees can have moments of glory and beauty. Most are just that beauty and the memories give us joy forever. But some a dreadful few hide an ulterior purpose and these leave behind scars. We all have them---disappointing loves, lost careers. Illness. Life touches us with both and we, mere humans that we are, must learn to cope, to seek balance, to survive. This survival is what endows us with compassion for the plights of others and to help them with the scary moments even when we are in our happiest. This is what makes us truly human to be able to feel the needs of others and to respond.

For me my faith gives me the strength to bear up when life is not as I would have it and to rejoice when it exceeds my expectations. To be an atheist it seems to me is to be a boat without a rudder aimlessly tossing at each new event with nothing outside your own thoughts to sustain you and give you comfort. But each of us must determine how to face the beauty and the pain of life in our own way. I choose faith,


T

tuesday ---busy day

Cheesecake breakfast day for French Club. three flavors await those who can get up and still remember. This will be the last event of the year. Next year we will have to see if it ( the club) is still going. Mostly did eating events this year as there is a ban on outside of Reno county trips and having the members pay for a bus. also to be truthful not many films that are not full of sex and nudity that are French. I plan on looking all summer.

Today and tomorrow are block days due to science and social studies assessment testing. All my classes actually meet today but tomorrow we have a 6:30 breakfast of choice award students so I must be here. My impact class is fifth hour so I am here until 11:30. these are great days for project work but some students still tend to make little progress. It is interesting to see how the groups work and who contributes. I make mental notes about students and their work ethic. If the chairperson is serious they usually do better unless she/he takes it over completely. group projects reveal many things about students.

The end of the year also reveals much about students and attitudes. Many roll up their learning about two weeks before classes are over and teachers have to pull and pull to get them to do the least little thing, Others do nothing but some (and these are the ones who succeed in school and life) keep doing what is necessary even though it is a chore. Maybe this is why a C student in High school is often a better college student because they have learned to study and work while the A student who is not challenged has not developed the tools or habits so badly needed on campus.

Life is not easy. The tools to survive with grace are often hard won. Once a person leaves the security of a home where nothing is asked of him or her and the reality of rent, taxes, food, and going to work to afford these hits life becomes a challenge. every generation despairs that the youth of their era will meet the challenges. From Plato to today the words " these youngsters" have bemoaned the state of the world. Yet, we are still here and that should prove that the majority of those "wild" "irresponsible"
youngsters do grow up and keep things on a more or less even keel.

Still this last year has shown me that there are more and more students who feel they need their and A and the teacher should provide without effort on their part or at least the littlest possible effort by them. They want study guides which are the test so they can memorize the answers without understanding the meaning or process behind them.
These same students expect and often have every new tech toy, the in clothes, etc and damn the expense to the household budget. they complain about the freedoms to do as they like when they want to. Yes, these are age old complaints but the abundance of them is different.

But the majority of them will grow up but not without bumps in the road. They will find the world is not centered by them, and they will survive. They will do what they have to and learn the process of being an adult even if the lessons taught by life are a bit harsh. It is after all the way of the world.

Life has taught me lessons and now I accept that there are things that i can not change. My faith makes life is easier. I know that I will survive His power will keep me Maybe not the way I hope for but in the long run it will be the best result.My hope is that today's youth has the faith or gets the faith to help them live , love and laugh their way through life.

thoughts on a lay self-indulgent weekend

So the dogs are quiet for the time being. Winston has played himself out tossing ad honking his toys. Now he is flat on the floor preparing to sleep. The chihuahuas are at the window near me protecting the house from passing birds and a feral tomcat. the world is as it should be.

Saturday morning I wondered down to breakfast at the Bluebird book store.It was a treat as some fifteen of us were discussing existing book clubs and book clubs yet to form. Nice to see so many readers though there was only one male in the bunch. readers still exist and life is good.After that off to the Hutchinson's cash mob's visit to Benton's Greenhouse. Neat place to visit and i bought some plants for my English cottage garden dream. Austin came and planted them so the double hollyhocks( I know they are prolific self seeders!) lavender and a dark( almost black) leafed ground cover. The holly hocks are by the wood fence, and I am considering more of them. Lavender and ground cover are around the base of a large tree. I need some poppies, trumpet vine, heliotrope , and shrub roses. I want a riot of colors but fragrance is a major focus. Any suggestions are welcome.

Friday brought an unexpected pleasure. Andrea invited me to go with her to the Fox for the Hot 8 jazz band.Wow what music and they played nearly 2 hours with only a 10 minute break. Going home the music was still playing in my head.On Saturday I found that Kris had given the tickets to Shannon and Marlo who had a celebration of an esquire addition to Marlo's name so they gave them to Andrea and she shared them with me. A lucky chain of events gave me a night to remember.

Today I planned to knit but the needles have not yet clicked. Mass first thing this morning renewed me and since then I have read,played solitaire and helped a grandchild with a paper.After talking to my daughter who is unusually leveled headed about her brood, I truly believe this teacher did not do her job. everything began with according to or in the article which is okay in MLA but not every sentence. Even Sara some 20+ plus out of high school knew that paraphrases did not have to be written like that and in text citation is needed.so we talked about it and she said 5 -6 students had the same problem and had to re write today but teacher would not let them get their papers to use for the rewrite. i have a feeling the instructor did not go over end of quote and paraphrase citation because it is not easy to teach. Also why was it not corrected on the rough draft or during a teacher consult.The paper was not an A by any means but I think it was the teacher's fault as well as Becca's--- especially since others were in the same boat and over half the class of seniors is flunking.Enough said!!!

This evening Call the Midwife and Masterpiece's Mr Selfridge with Jerry Piven are on PBS. Vikings on History will be taped for later viewing. dogs will be crated ear;y and needles will clack as I view. I should be able to finish the button bad and weave in ends of my bohus which was successfully steeked.

Oh yes the house needed dusting and such but I said this was a self-indulgent weekend so it will be doe during the week, why self -indulgent? Sometimes one has to become a bit of a spoiled creature to not worry about what must be done but what should be done to revive the inner spirit, hopes and viewpoint. It is the end of a shortened school year, the ids are done, senior presentations need to be judged, finals created and graded,professional days to be done and in general many must do in a few days. None of them of onerous but they have to be done. So this weekend though not originally planned to be a for me time turned in to one. I am relaxed and the frustrations of a busy time are lessened. my engines are tuned and revving I can make it to the end.

wondering todays students.

Lately one of my teaching colleagues from another school has posted somewhat less than optimistic views on today's student body. One indicated that he feels they are taught to still so well in the primary grades that they do not feel obligated to other than sit and stare in high school. In other words to not engage in actually earning the grade they hope to be given. A newer one said that he was having trouble getting students to care about the lesson and/or themselves and that some actually have said in so many words--just go on. I do not care. This is from a man who loves his profession and his instructional area. He if anyone could inspire students to learn.

Now I am a bit luckier than that in my high school classes. I teach French. My students are for the most part individualistic---after all they chose French not Spanish. Though some will not go beyond year one the majority of those that do are most part self-starters who do not have to be pushed to learn. They are astounded of course one does not learn French and simply replace the English and even French has grammar( shudder here!) has rules. Still those who go on make my teaching productive and enjoyable.

My College classes are different. There I teach required English. In every class there are those who do not do the work and more often those who pay for the class and texts but never come to class. AS they do not bother to officially drop, the "F" on the transcript can be no surprise. I wonder do they just get the grant money and then depart for party hardyville. These are mostly younger students; the non-trads who are older are always there. They make the teaching worthwhile.

STILL THIS SEMESTER TWO EVENTS WRANKLE ME. Once I asked a student if she had trouble emailing her outside work in. She said: "nope. I just don't do it unless it is done in class" What? Then last night I drove 30 Miles to teach basic English the first class after break. 7+ students in a four hour class. One student showed up and she was late. Needless to say I dismissed class and the boss can winch but it is useless to teach 1 student for four hours.
Emailed the rest the assignment and we will move next week. The material will be on the final, but they can learn it on their own.

So yes ,the fact that today we had over 100 students carrying at least one "f" at my high school bothers me. How do we make them care when cell phones, games, jobs etc. are more important than classwork. When mothers say "I can do nothing with him. Your turn" Yikes, if you do not do it at home, we can not create a work ethic here. Still there are those who do work, who do their level best, who want to learn. They make the days worthwhile. They are the answers to the negative questionings of colleagues. They are why I teach.