Walking Winston in the backyard this afternoon, a flash of read caught my eye.I stood still and for once so did Winston.Yep it was a cardinal and there all once the female was joined by her brilliant mate.Cardinals ,wow! They return every year if they nest here. Tomorrow a feeder is on my to do list. Enticement to stay here.

What memories they recalled. Grandma loved them and in her later years several pairs made their home in the pine trees outside her favorite window. The sight of this pair brought her tome and I could see her sitting by that kitchen window , filing her nails,writing letters, or knitting as she watched those birds. She told me once that their color brightened her day and her mood. So I am hoping this pair stays in my yard as a reminder of the love she so freely gave to the three granddaughters.

Now I wonder what about me will my grandchildren and others will recall about me in the future. My love of books,of travel or dogs will these define me? Or will it be some small thing I said or did that is insignificant to me that makes them remember me? I would like to be remembered and I hope positively.

No one can know what small thing that impacts a life. Dorothy Thompson Knew I was hopeless at Math but her encouragement made it geometry bearable and her do it the best you can motto is still with me. I teach and will often ease up for a student giving his all in my class with little progress as she did for me. Father Ritz with his starched cassocks without realizing and in truth I just realized it myself share his gift of faith with me the little protestant in his catechism class and my senior English teacher at Longfellow High let me know it was ok to read as i loved to in the one semester I had her before I graduated in January. Nothing big was done or said but small kindnesses made big impressions. I try to pay it forward.

Therefore those cardianls better remain to bring grandma to me and to help remember that kindness costs nothing.

This is the new baby in the family. He is five weeks here and is now nearly 4 months old. He weighs in at 20+ lbs and gallumphs rather than walks. He is a lover and a charmer but the chihuahuas have yet to accept him as a family member. Potty training will be a slow process but he is worth the work. This is a brief post to introduce Winston to my readers.

after the storm

Storms gone for a minute but it is wise to recall that this tornado alley. From the news many twisters touched down but no lives were lost here in Kansas though there was damage to buildings in some cities and south Wichita. We did not get the hail either but Facebook pictures from Nebraska and South Dakota tell a different story. We were lucky once again, and can relax until another one is forecast. The weather service deserves praise for the early warnings. knowing somehow makes it easier.

At my house there is a mini storm whenever I have Winston and the chihuahuas sharing space. They will adjust but until they do it is a tempest in a teapot. Winston galumphs over to them, and that is the only way I can describe his happy puppy approach to the older dogs who rather he left them alone. Snips and snarls ensue but no actual damage. Boba has much the same reaction to the noisy kids next door, but in both incidents my "NO" stops him. Talk about sibling rivalry.My three daughters were raised with less drama.

What can I learn form this chaos. More patience and I thought I was fairly patient.Well let's qualify that---My patience is ok as along as the person trying it is actually doing what he can in the given situation, but it is in short supply when complaints without effort are the mode of operation. Also a lack of patience exists with college students who pay for a class and then blow it with no attendance. Enough said.

Awoke this morning to stillness not a leaf stirring, a sure sign in Kansas that something about to happen. Now at two PM the trees are blowing in a stiff breeze and the sky is slate colored. Yep a storm is coming. My hope it will not be the tornadoes that they have a watch out for until 6pm.

The weather bureau has been touting the storm front for over 24 hours. People have time to be prepared even if it does not develop. My car is under a roof; I have a flashlight and food. I also have knitting and books and am prepared. Basement is there but I will head to the hall way or the bathroom if need be.Truthfully, I may do nothing as I believe that if it is his will it will be so I trust in him after making a few preparations.

Would it not be nice if the stormy periods in life could be forewarned and prepared for in advance. There are probably warnings signs but they are too subtle or we just ignore them until the tempest is on us turning everything into chaos. Yet I wonder even with strong warnings would we be prepared or would we just worry ourselves into a trembling mass of "what if" fears.

Anymore I take the let go and let God route.having done what I can in any situation. this lesson was learned driving back to Lemmon,Sd after visiting my mom who was failing.She had called me By her sister's or my daughter's name all weekend and I had found her medicines hidden in couch cushions. In the midst of a divorce I could not give up my teaching so I faced a ten hour drive home, did most of it with tears blurring my vision. As an only child the loss of my remaining parent was deadening my will to do anything. Suddenly I found myself in the center of a blowing snowstorm and deer in every ditch facing the road. It was too much. I broke and said "Ok god you got me here, I can do nothing about Mom , the weather or the stupid deer. It is in your hands now." I made it home safely and with a lifted outlook. Since that moment I have lived almost exclusively with the attitude that when I can no longer make progress or decide on an action I put it in his hands. Life is probably not any easier but facing it is. He will carry me and his plans for me are good.

So storms come on. I do not fear you though I respect your power to destroy.I have an ally in the chaos who is stronger than anything that faces me.

Springtime is always busy in a school system as there always things to finish up, decisions on how far to push the subject matter, control of summer anxious student etc. When one teaches in two differing systems as I do the tension can mount without being really noticeable. However it is there in the system lurking and awaiting release which can be totally fury or funny. Last night two younger friends( and I feel I can call them that despite age differences) and I had a coffee session full of giggles, silliness, and some serious talk. When I was reading in bed, I realized how much more relaxed I was or had been for days.Somehow the inner tightly wound and submerged coil of tension had been released.

Friendship is that often for a group. It is where tension is released. One can vent in safety if need be or one can( and I believe it is healthier) laugh freely about things and with each other. Private jokes and punch lines emerge that once uttered set off a storm of giggles and the tension flows out of its lurking place. balance is restored and the world is easier to face.

But friendship is more than that. It is support for another human. A simple hello and a smile can alter one's entire day. A prayer given when asked for shows support in a time of need. The blessing is that doing these simple things does not require much effort and yet they make huge differences and they do not even require that the friendship be a deep abiding kinship.

All of us need such simple gestures in our lives. They make us feel valued and worthwhile. We also need those deeper friendships that evolve after years of sharing and caring. These are the relationships that endure despite age, race, gender, and distance. They are there in periods of both despair and joy; they are there when we need to be brought up short and when we need to be praised. they are the rocks we can cling to when the waters are rough and the sun that can shine on us in the calmer tides of our life.

Some these thought s may seem like platitudes but they are sincere. I am thankful for those relationships in my life and I am richer because of them. So thank you giggle partners for the laughter last night. I did not know how much I needed it. Hope you felt the release too.

Memories are triggered by small things almost as powerfully as the big events in one’s life. The smell of Old Spice will immediately bring my father in to my room almost as a visible presence just as the smell of orange zest or earl grey tea trigger the memories of my grandmothers. Other triggers are snail mail personal letters (the grandmothers again), and roast beef dinners or runzas (my mother). As I age these small reminders of people in my younger life seem to come more often to set my mind roaming to the small daily sharing’s with these people in the past and also to do once again some of the things I once did with them.

Dad was a big man well over six feet with the broad chest and small waist of an athlete. His temper was just as big as his frame but it was a burst of energy that burned out as soon as it was evident. A traveling salesman he knew everybody and they knew him but he was not a Willy Loman. He loved life and lived it well, and he shared that life with me. Saturdays, we often went to a movie just he and I. I suppose it was this way as Mom did not go often as she always had something to do in the house but those times in the cool dark theater sharing a John Wayne or Randolph Scott movie are precious memories to me.

Mom was small barely five feet but she was the power in our house. She ran it and as he was gone on the road that meant she saw to all the things a man might do as well as the “ womanly duties.” Her cooking and racy sense of humor lit up our lives and as an only child I receive the full impact of both of these talents. She was independent and determined. I find I am more like her than I every thought I would be.

Orange zest and spicy raisin filling make Granma James come to mind. In her Ohio kitchen a blue roaster stood near the dining room door. I cannot recall it being empty nor were her knitting needles ever still until the last years of her life. I can see her now sitting near the window in her kitchen knitting or filing her nails as she watched the cardinals dance in the pines across the drive. Earl grey tea will bring a smile to my face as I picture Grandma Janie (Mom’s mother) asking me to join her and them making me eat a rubbery egg custard. Shorter than her daughter she had a steel will and I recall she hid the toys she considered obnoxious under her bed. She also had determination in spades. After she could not walk and had to go to a rest home due to spinal collapse, she told my mother and I she would walk again. The doctors said no but in less than six months she was walking. To quote her,” It was the power of prayer.” Even more important to me were the weekly letters each wrote to me as I grew up far from their Pennsylvania and Ohio homes.

So perhaps this why I bake raisin filled cookies, drink earl grey, still write snail mail to those I care about, think Sunday requires a roast beef dinner to be Sunday and why I just bought DVDs’ of Hondo and Mcclintock.

blending

Well, my house now holds a blended family. the two chihuahuas who have been together since puppy days now have a 3 month old 25 lb English bull dog sibling..There have been some low growls, one or two loud yips and no bloodshed. So far so good. It will get easier.

For me house breaking will be a challenge, but a crate and affection will do it. I already love the gentle giant i have brought into the home. Always wanted a bull dog and thought ok I love this puppy's picture and at my age it is nice to have some simple ones fulfilled. Winston is happy but thinks he is a lapdog. Pictures are on fb and google+. I need to figure out the process of posting them on my blog.. I did do the picture s on an earlier blog but that was not from my files
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Easter weekend signals renewal and how we all need it.Long winters can build discontent from being housebound. this winter did not keep us at home snowbound and unproductive but the sense of renewal is still present. With every daffodil or tulip, my soul soars as they remind me of HIS promise to renew us and I do not doubt HIS problem.

Chores call me. More later