Saturday, September 27, 2014

Odd thoughts are scampering around the interior of my mind Want an example? Two nights ago I woke up wondering if you died suddenly would you know it was death? Think about it one minute you are breathing and the next you are not. So is there a nano second you realize what is happening? if you are ill for weeks or longer you know death is coming; maybe the exact moment but as the onset is taking longer might it actually be more of a "life" event? Will you hover over the remains thinking that was me; now what. Morbid morning thoughts that occupied my thoughts for awhile.

Second oddment of day is why do I hate grocery shopping? Is it the money spent? NO! I think it is the actual act of going to the store and pushing the cart. I actually try to avoid it , and whenI do go, no Walmart huge store trek for me. I even avoid the larger Dillons( spelled Krogers) in my home town by shopping at its smaller store. In order to cut down on trips during school months when free (writing) time is rare and snatched, I order 12 meals a month from two local ladies ,The Sunflower Supper club. Two times a month they deliver six frozen meals to which I can add a salad or not. Today I went to bountiful baskets for the first times. I got carrots, lettuce, carrots, tomatoes, honey dew. granny smith apples, peaches, plums. lemons, pomegrantes,and bananas for a minimal fee. 7AM pickup is tough at they close at 7:30. Everything not picked up plus extras goes to a local fire house for free. The quality was good and while you do not have a choice, it means the produce department is a miss. It is a twice a month event.

Third thought is why do things happen. One of my dearest pals has been diagnosed in the early stages of the"A" disease. She is beautiful, intelligent, and ten years younger than I am. A good mind and a elfin spirit is being slowly erased. Such sadness when I dwell even for a moment on it. Yet, I must admit ( despite my bad typing) I am glad that it is not me. Compassion and guilt for my relief are mingled today as she moves away from her teaching family to be closer to her mother and sisters.

So my mind is swirling with odd unrelated thoughts. I will leave it here and ponder the possibilities

Thursday, September 18, 2014

contained chaos

Picture day at the school always means that for one day students are in flux during class to get id photos done. This means teachers have to teach parts of lessons twice but there are always some students who miss all or a major part of the lesson. Today however the intercom is not working so we send the entire class at one time--all juniors in one hour. Less coming and going but empty classrooms for that hour in some areas. So lesson plans are pushed back, altered and chaotic but normal will return tomorrow.

Chaos has been this week---- not busy but not organized either. Meds were a two trip process because clerk did not look deep enough in the "D" basket. Tuesday was peer edit in the college class and one student said I do not have it done. She was astonished when I said it will be done when you leave class tonight. High school students in night class need to learn college is college and excuses are not taken unless perhaps you have died and resurrected.Forgot an appointment last night while I held Scholars"bowl practice so that has been pushed off until tonight which makes the plans for tonight run later, and the rest of the week does not look much better. Life is interesting.

So I have not touched the memoir since Sunday and that was short on the amount i usually try to write. Herb Lore seems to be in limbo but ideas are percolating through the morass of my mental state. Both will gain pages and words in the next three days.Saturday will be a writing day from noon on the morning is busy. Sunday I lector at mass and am a sponsor for a student at National Honor Society induction( honored that the student asked me to do it)so writing will be hit and miss but it will get done.

Evenings this week have been spent with the Roosevelts. What a fascinating family. I read the book Franklin and Eleanor, and this series on PBS is adding to my knowledge. It is a major time drain but worth it. So this has added to the chaos as that is my writing life and the need for order is building. I will get this done.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

2 weeks later

So it has been tow weeks. Chalk it up to the return of a scheduled format for my life. Yes, folks school has begun. We began teachers meetings on the 22nd ,and I am readjusting to having a set routine. I function well with a set format but after our long summer ( it began in late April) it is a bit of a shock. Perhaps that is why I am tired at 8 and asleep by ten, awake at 4 and not really able to go back to sleep. Change is good right?

Change has come also in the fact I now teach 10-3:30 rather than 8-2. I find myself still ready to leave the house by six. That will have to change ,and it will. I will probably be there around 9:30 most days. Yet I am beginning to realize it may take a few weeks to get it straight.

Life is full of changes. Jobs come and go. People drift in and out. You move house or town. Habits change because of health or economic decisions. Some People find change difficult, they fight it and resolve it only after much heartache and strife. I am not one of those. My childhood made sure of that. Dad's jobs moved us--Ohio to Nebraska-to Missouri and back to Nebraska. We lived in four Nebraska towns and I added another with marriage. Since then I have moved on my own to South Dakota and Kansas( two towns in that state.) My career has been teaching for the main part but I have been a pizza server,a reporter for three papers , a stay at home mom which I loved and even an Avon lady. I have taught English and AP English, Spanish, French.Speech,and debate. Change could well be my middle name.

Flexibility is a helpful trait and it will coming in the future. The changes may not be my choice when they come. I am at the age when things will end--- work, driving, independent living. Not happy thoughts but my prayer is that I can accept them as they come and not rail against them as my Mother did. My father was ill the last years of his life and this hot tempered man became a gentle soul who accepted life and lived it as it came. Two models to follow and it is my hope I choose the latter. I loved both parents but never do I want to stress my girls the way Mom stressed her family.

Now today is a change. Living near the state fairgrounds this week has been tough since I moved here. Concerts blare for ten days , and parking is nonexistent and even my drive has been used. Cattle rigs run my quiet street as it is a path to the animal entrance. I never attend the fair as crowds are a big bugbear for me. This year there is change. First the city extended the no park zone so no one can park n front of my house and then I am going to be at the fair from 1-5 today.It is a sign of my dedication to removing our president governor from office that I and a friend are manning a booth in support of his opponent. Change can be good and perhaps create good.