Thursday, February 27, 2014

Randomness on a sunnyThursday

Just heard Whoopie Goldberg said she is at the age where she does care about what she says because she is content with herself.Wow she just defined me. I am content with myself and like her,I want to give and give respect but do not step on me. It has taken me years to be content within myself, and it is a hard won state. No longer do I worry about what others think of me. what you and see is what you get and it is your choice to accept me or reject me. Your decision however will neither elate or deflate me. I try not to anger anyone,to disrespect another,but i will not kowtow, mush mouth an opinion to gain your approval. Yet,I often do not say the things on my mind out of a desire not to hurt someone. As indicated in an earlier blog I tend cut people off my list and that is better than revenge. Hateful things can never be taken back even if the apology is tendered. So as they say if you cannot say something nice_____.

Our country is headed for trouble as some groups push their agenda so heavy handily that hate is the result at the worse. Frankly it is the intolerance of others views. I have students who believe that their opinion is right. First no sophomore or junior or even senior in high school has lived long enough to be so opinionated. they have not faced life hit bottom with no one to pick them up or know enough history to form a concept about the country. too often they mouth the beliefs of the older generation surrounding them, and are unwilling to listen to another view. During my career I have seen many students who at 18 knew it all but at 30 life had softened their stance. Still today adults are just as guilty of mouthing platitudes ( usually political) without any understanding of the true issues and woe to any one who disagrees with them. Tolerance may be an English word ,but the actual action is sadly lacking in today's world.

It is this unwillingness to listen to others or to study an issue that has led to the lackluster congress of the past few year. the moderates are shouted down by the radicals and the result nothing of merit has been done. both parties are guilty of the refusal to cross the aisle and work together. Why are they there? Because voters vote their "opinions" or beliefs that they ave adopted without thinking through why they are voting in that way. We need inquisitive thinking voters. Are we going to get them anytime soon? Sadly,I doubt it. This why the 30,000 year man with a family of five votes to support a big money government and then whines when they can longer get food stamps, or medicaid, or the 500,000 + people vote to support their agenda and whine when tax reform will cost them and a welfare program is not cut. Intolerance hurts us all.

Enough of that I am about to dive into some serious writing and this return to blogging has opening the way. Knitting as calmed me so I can plan content.Lately knitting as lost it luster due to something that took away my bliss to quote a pal, but I am beginning to use the needles again to calm my soul. I am recalling how I love it, but can not do it in a place a once loved. Have found that the place does not matter but the knitting does and the people I knit with. So saying that I am about to go pick up my needles.


Tuesday, February 25, 2014

ptl day.

What a day. First I managed to lock myself out of my home.Problem easily solved as a pal has a key. She left it in a hidden spot on her way to work. So I got in . Life is blessed when there are fiends like her.Thanks Amber. Next my brand new Mac will not load so it is off to repair in Wichita via another friend. Andrea, much thanks as I hate hunting addresses in Wichita traffic and its one ways. After a quick sandwich stop I headed to Newton to teach comp 102. Stopped at a stop sign on fourth street- my car was rear ended bya texting pick up driver. No dents and so soft my neck did not pop, but driving on down fourth to hit Buhler- Haven road. I noticed it was pulling over to the right ==way over to the right.Go or return to get it checked out? Return was my choice. Called Newton not to plan on me and back to Hutch I went. Upshot of inspection,bumper will need paint but no heavy damage.Wheels need alignment so have a shop appointment tomorrow. Now I wonder what the third near tragedy will be.

Days like to day try my faith but in the end it prevails. I was able to get a key, the mac is under warranty, and the car will be fixed tomorrow. Praise the Lord can sound so oversimple but it is in this case a real heartfelt emotion.Friendship and faith made my day end up on a positive note. Speaking of positive notes, Patty N. made a crusty round loaf of bread. Had a bite and it is near heaven--- so much like the breads of Europe. What a gift. Thank you Patty.

Another blessing happened in fourth hour French class to day. They had food presentations, so we had coq au vin, palmieres de basil and chocolate cake ( which was more Betty Crocker than French but still good.) the food was good, the (Presentations thorough and fulfilling my requests. Bread group was really good ;even had a Julia child style video by Eric Phram. when the students do well I am so full of pride.

Might have more to write about when my nerves calm down.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

installment two for the day branson pickle.

Okay, it truly is the little things that can lift up your day. Branson pickle and marmite were sure mood lifters for me. branson pickle is a relish that is brownish red in color and i believe it is beetroot based. Whatever it contains there is nothing like it with cheese on a crusty bread and it often a part of the quintessential ploughman's lunch so popular in the UK. Marmite is a yeast salty spread that lifts toast from the mundane to extra special for me at least. Do not mix it up with the vegemite of Austrailia; they are not the same. Today I am mentally back In England at Kathy's. Small items and big pleasure.

Also am trying to think about when I began to write and though I can not recall my first story, I do recall being jumping up and down happy when my small scribble was printed in Cappers Weekly and again when I was published in Grit. there was a hiatus full of school, marriage, children.It happens,but writing always wins. Poems and prose published in the sun, regional publications as far away as New England. News reporting filled the desire to be in print in Arapahoe,Ne, Lemmon SD and Minneapolis Ks. A big moment came when Catholic Digest paid for a small piece on a priest in South Dakota. Now the writer is coming out in earnest as my work career slowly approaches the end. I may neveer be a high paid writer but I am enjoying myself. So this is another small pleasure in my life.

This journey to write has been helped by many things. Prairie winds in South Dakota and Kansas, Kathleen Norris and Linda Hasselstrom have played a part. Recently my membership in Story Circle Network has given me a sounding board through my online writing circle. These ladies can zero in on a piece and it improves. I enjoy the exchange of ideas and have learned so much. Spurred by them I have sent poems into the group's journal and they have been published. Then the other day a small edited section of a longer one I shared on circle was selected for the next issue. Such small things and such great pleasure.

So in April I am going to their big gathering in Austin Tx. Linda is the keynote speaker and I will get to meet some circle members. this I assure you is not a small pleasure, it will be a big one and another step in the journey.


no excuses and french press coffee and knitting

As anyone who reads this might guess i just write;no pre-planning but plenty of editing done afterwards. Sure i have topics I think about but i do not rough draft. However to be honest this blog is often a rough for poems or prose to be used elsewhere. this is my thoughtful but random place and I cultivate the freedom of that. So that said what are the random things going on in my mind at the moment and I will make no excuses for the wonderlust of thought may go.

First , I am drinking coffee as i write which ia given . Never do much without caffeine nearby but have to admit Karrie R. of Brewed Awakening re-introduced me to french pressed heaven the other morning. This has been a favorite of mine for years but it take a special grind to the beans which is not always around. I was in heaven until it was gone and i was too far from the shop to get another. I survived.Now I am plotting to have her grind me some beans and the blacksmith roasted coffee from Lindsburg was sublime.Life is looking up.

Now if i could just get into to knitting again. do not miss read this ,I Love and I knit.It is my tolerance for mistakes that is low and rather than fixing them I am ripping the entire project. For this reason no new yarn will be purchased until I can break the funk I am in and I do not what spurred the funk. Funny how a random remark can cut and change your viewpoint. I am working through the effects of that remark but it is a slow process. Yep sounds childish but it is the way I am built( see early blog about quirks in my soul). At least this only affects me and not others. It is my own semi-purgatory, and i will ascend form it. Someday. Soon I hope.

So reader do you ever get into a small funk that you have to get over. I have a feeling everyone has one once or twice in their life. The battle is not easy but once it is over life is good.

Coffee is done. dogs are sleeping and i am thinking of french press coffee. Step one out of the funk getting dressed, grabbing some knitting and off to say:Karrie please and hope Andrea drops in to help with the knitting. later peeps.



Wednesday, February 19, 2014

HUMP DAY

YEP it is Wednesday or hump day. Monday we had parent teacher conferences, last night I taught for HCC, tonight is at home, and tomorrow off to a regional EF tours meeting in Wichita. Friday is semi free but Saturday is a political rally if I can make it and Sunday is mass. The first two days of next week repeat this Monday and Tuesday. I suppose I could be busier and I will be the last of March and the first April but right now I am glad for the at home night.


Why do we get so wrapped up in doing and going? Gads! that sounds like Wordsworth's getting and spending. But think about it why can we not say no? I think Americans like to be busy. I know European friends of mine can not understand our willingness of overtime, parttime plus full time work and tons of free time given up as we volunteer for other thankless ( often, not always) tasks. Years ago when my daughters were younger and I was still wed to a worker ( put thatin caps ) farmer,I often met myself coming and going. Funny thing is I loved ,it and now as retirement approaches I wonder what will I do with all the time, but in reality I know from observing retired friends activities will fill the emptied work hours.

To be honest weekends are mine and often I shut the door on Friday and do not really emerge except to walk one of my furry children. I graze for food, but at times I cook, I watch movies on television, knit , and I read in the relative quiet of house with three dogs and myself.Sometimes if I am honest, I am in my pjs the entire time. I find if I do this at least one if not more weekends a month ,I have no need of mental health days during the week. Days such as these allow me to regroup and center myself for another week in the real work day world and its whirl of do this , do that lists.

So like many things in life there has to be a balance to maintain sanity and perspective, mine are weekends with the dogs and me. How do you cope? readers?

Sunday, February 16, 2014

sunday musings

February is nearly over and that means we have 20_days of school left due to the construction schedule, Yep students are done April 23rd.Now as a teacher do I try to push to get done what should be done in a normal year or to get done well what I can get done. I could also balance the topics to cover and pick and choose which should be done. Luckily I teach a world language so I can
decide and go forth happily especially as I plan one more year behind the desk. Science and math do not have that latitude due assessment testing. Still it is a problem but at the moment they are doing quarter projects in French 1 and 2. French one students
are building models of European landmarks and doing a brief researched (MLA) report on their building. French 2 students are doing cookbooks and presentations. It should be an interesting week.

Parent -teacher conferences are this Monday and next Monday from 5-8:30. Long days which if the right parents come much can be accomplished but they usually do not come. Power school allows them review daily if need be. The first quarter they come in droves ==especially 9th grade parental units. Thrid nine weeks the drop off is amazing. I am finding email is an immediate contact and is replied to about 95% of the time , and of course there are phone calls also.

Another tech aid I am finding useful is remind 101.It is neutral phone number for each class. the students sign on to the contact list and parents can also. I do not know their phone; they do not know mine.Still I can text them reminders of assignments, quizes etc. It kills the I forgot excuse for the most part.

Time to stop this. on a less technical basis I just ripped out a sock again. People have been doing this for year-eons even; yet it stymies me. I think I am going to get it done and then fate steps in. It is a good lesson to know that I can not do it all and accepting that has made my life easier. I face a problem, do what I can and step back. then it is in god's hands and he has yet to fail me even though I fail him. Guess that is the definition of faith---knowing that HE IS THERE WITHOUT QUESTION. So glad i have been given that gift.


Saturday, February 15, 2014

no no people

Saturday was an early day. Dogs had been up and down all night and so at 5:30 I was up to stay. Now that is my usual time but on Saturday I like to try to stay in bed a bit longer. Oh well, things got done. Floors swept, garbage out, packages mailed, dishes done and the cox man replaced my outside splitter, and I went to Brewed Awakening for coffee and a brief knit on my sock. Nice moment talking to Sam, a favorite sixteen year old.

However this morning drove to me once again to face a personality trait of mine. I am not particularly proud of it, have tried to alter it but every once in awhile it creeps out of the dark area of my psyche where I have pushed it. Today it came forward. What is it?

Simply when a person gets to me to a certain point, I am done with them. Not that I am mean or rude but I am done. I avoid them or if that is not possible I am icily polite. Also I am less apt to do something for them when asked. Now that is not good but it is better than angry actions such as revenge. Once in awhile the fences I have set up have been torn down when a sincere honest apology on both parts happens.Many times this does not happen because no discussion of the rupture ever occurs and the fence becomes more or less permanent.The list of "no-no" people is small ,and this is due to my desire not to be this way, but it does it exist. While it is not an admirable trait, it does avoid continued conflict and hurt.

Sometimes when it rears its ugly head, I wonder about other people and their quirks.Do they have ones that they try to exile? I know it is hard to say that there is something about me that I do not like and that I constantly try to control. Still in my case the effort of control has helped me to fall victim to it less. Self improvement? Not sure! Yet the effort makes life better though I feel when it comes into play it is somewhat of a blessing because I do not say things I will regret or worse. Maybe age is bringing me some sense about this fault.I must admit only those who know me well can detect when the line has been crossed by someone so I must have some control even when it is in play. Enough said.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Friday Eve

Today is Friday eve.If Wednesday is hump day this can Friday eve. Eves are nice they hold the promise of something nice on the morrow. Fridays usually deliver if nothing else some unfettered time to fill with personal activities whether they be must dos or just for pleasure.

Actually Wednesday this week was great. My French club or at least 19 of them went with me to the Sunflower Supper Club's kitchen on North Plum. Julie Kimmel met the kids and they filled and rolled two types of crepes. One was savory filled with chicken and mushrooms with white sauce topping ; the other creme fraiche with blueberry ( bleuettes in french) sauce topping. A third group rolled out puff pastry and made pain au chocolate. Then she allowed all the students to actually cook a crepe if they wished. she used these crepes to make a breakfast crepe with prosicutto, cheese and an egg which she then baked. The kids then did the dishes for her and learned how state health regs require a scrape, rinse wash, rinse and sanitizing. The kids liked being out of school, enjoyed the food and even more important came back ready to try the recipes on their own. In fact my French two students are now broken into groups to do French cookbooks---desserts, breads, and main dishes. a good result from a fun oputing and a learning activity they suggested as a result.

My French 1 students are making models of landmarks ( canoncreativity.com); they also have to do a 1-3 page report on the construction and history of their landmark. They really bought into it but are finding the scale of the patterns not easy. Still learning to succeed at something that proves a challenge is a lesson is it no? The paper has to be in full MLA research style and that is bothering them also. But life will challenge them once they leave the feathered nest of a home and halls of the high school
and a challenge in these protected places with a mentor to help them should help them to develop useful coping skills.

The week has seemed long with snow packed roads left from a big storm getting another 3-4" to travel Monday and Tuesday, but yesterday the thaw began with sun shining thought temperatures remain below zero. Today it was even warmer and 60 degrees is a distinct possibility this weekend. Warmth and sun can lift spirits. It has been a good week so far. Hoping the good things hold tomorrow.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

random musings

Came to school today on good roads despite the snow but the one my house sits on is terrible.Put that in caps. TERRIBLE! I have avoided getting stick and the warming trend should clear it in a few days, but my municipality should consider clearing side streets a bit also. Enough said.

There is a new store in Buhler--- gourmet chocolates. Valentine's day is Friday so I think I know what some good pals may be getting. Chocolate is such a good thing except I have to watch my sugar intake, so I want it to be well worth the spike on the meter.LOL. It is also going to carry old time candies---candy cigarettes for example. Pretend puffing memories, do you have those? Personally, i am hoping for Necco Wafers, Walnettos and dare I say it licorice babies. Yes going to have to go there

It is interesting to me that foods and smells and colors can trigger memories. Most of the triggers bring happy ones to my mental screen but one or two can really bring on other feelings.Ammonia always brings on the memory of hot August days cleaning a chicken coop.Not a happy moment for me as I hated that job.

Have to go. More later today. I promise.





Monday, February 10, 2014

at home

Considering the new snow I should be glad I am home,but that is far from the reality. I want to be in my classroom doing my thing. Yes I sent in lesson plans and some progress should be made, and thanks to remind101 my classes knew at 7AM that I would be gone and what was going to happen in class. That knocks the pins from the excuse that "she" being me didn't tell us that. sub and office knows that I sent the message. But I'd rather be there myself.

Now , do not class me as a control freak, I do not see that in myself. But I want my classroom to have me in it as I feel I know the students and their quirks so I can help them more easily. However I must admit today's sub is one of the best around. Buhler does have the best subs of any system I have taught in.

Snow right now is not my love as the roads are so bad. The main streets and highways are good but side streets are a mess. Following my traveling salesman father's advice I pick a comfortable speed and maintain it,slowing only when necessary. Slow and steady makes the trip in one piece somewhat like Aesop's hare. So if you are in a hurry and behind me,follow or pass. It is your life.

Ok that is enough for now. I may be back later today but at least I have blogged something while fighting bleary eyes, runny nose and all things cold related.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

So I now have two blogs as I lost this one for awhile . The lost is found, and I am back to the one that has most of my writing on it. Losing things is not new to me. Misplaced my phone today and was in a panic but then found it in my coin purse where I never put it. We have all done that laying something down in an unusual place and then wondering just where it is. So I really do not feel it is a sign of the big A as it does not happen often.

Still I have been worried about my lack of writing and creativity these past months. It seemed nothing much was simmering in my creative stock pot. It was not blocked on a particular piece; it was just nothing was there. Still I have had poetry in the SCN journal for the last four issues and a prose bit under consideration for the next. Evidence that I was still writing but I was not writing as much as in the past. Consideration of this led to the conclusion I had not devoted anytime to just writing. Well, I taught three class for the college last semester and coached Scholars' bowl so perhaps that was why the time was not used. Even taught a hybrid class during the semester break. so now that I down to one HCC class, the usual at BHS, and scholars' bowl is over for the year, it is time to reverse the no writing by planning to at least blog every day but hopefully working on poems and prose with greater effort.

Looking forward to the April nationwide writers conference in Austin,TX. Susan Wittig Albert will be there, and she is the founder of story circle network. I will have a chance to meet Peggy Moody, Doc Cherry and other members of my online scn pals. The capstone is Linda Hasselstrom will be the keynote speaker.I know her from South Dakota and it is she who first showed me i could write with some facility. April can not come fast enough though I hate the hassle of flying with layovers but you can not go directly to Austin from here.

More later . I am back at it.